Can't Stay Away
by secamimom
Summary: Edward comes to town determined to get his revenge on the Cullens and is hell bent on using Bella Swan to do so. But what he doesn't plan on is actually falling for her. Will she be just a pawn in his game or something more?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Here it is guys. This is a short prologue to give you a taste of what is to come in Can't Stay Away. **

_"Those who plot the destruction of others often perish in the attempt"_

_Thomas Moore_

I stood in the center of the room, several pairs of eye staring widely at me. Some held the look of confusion, some embarrassment, most of them shocked. I wasn't surprised by any of their looks.

But there was only one pair of eyes that mattered. Only one of the people in this room meant anything to me right now and as I looked to my side, the face I was met with fucking broke me. Her eyes once showed nothing but joy, kindness and love towards me. Now they showed emotions that should never exist in her world. They were full of sadness, anger and hatred.

For me.

I had finally done what I set out to accomplish when I came to this town, ruining her in the process. If this was the revenge that I needed so badly, why the fuck did it hurt so much?

**A/N: So...are you with me? What did you think? This will be extremely different from Healing the Divide but I hope you all will like it just as much. I am hoping to keep updating on Fridays if no problems come up. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**A/N: Thanks to my beta, ILY girl! I was thrilled with the response from the prologue. Welcome new readers and thanks to all who followed me over from HtD.**

_"Revenge is a confession of pain"_

_Latin Proverb_

I pulled my bike into the parking lot of the diner and parked it. Pulling my helmet off my head, I ran my hands through my hair. I was in dire need of a haircut but had yet to find anyone in this god forsaken shit hole that I would let near my head with a sharp pair of scissors. Besides, I had shit to do here. I didn't come to Forks, Washington to make friends or settle down. I had come here to wreak havoc and stir shit up. And that is exactly what I intended to do.

I found out about this little place a few months ago when I was rummaging through my father's shit trying to find some cash to hold me over. He had some fucking folder marked "Forks" and of course my nosy ass just had to open it up. What I found inside shocked the hell out of me. I found my birth certificate in the folder. What shocked me was the name that was listed on the mother's line. Esme Platt. I began to wonder who the fuck Esme Platt was. I was twenty four fucking years old and had never heard the name before in my life. My father had told me that my mother died giving birth to me and that her name had been Maria. But the more I looked through that file, the more pissed off I became. It seemed as if Esme Platt, my real mother, had not died. She had just left me.

So, that's how I found myself in this little town. I was here and ready to cause some trouble. I had been here about two weeks and had befriended a local guy named James. He had unknowingly fed me a lot of the information that I needed in order to enter into phase one of my plan.

My mother, Esme, was now a Cullen. She was the wife of the town's most respected doctor, Carlisle Cullen. They had been married for a while and had no children of their own. That part kind of pissed me off. How was I supposed to get revenge on my mother if I had no one close to her to hurt? I didn't want to come flat out and do something to her. No, I wanted to go behind the scenes, hurt the ones she loved.

And I found out exactly how to do that.

Esme was raised by the Swan family when she was younger. James had easily told me all about Esme's adopted sister, Renee Swan. I got all the deets on this Renee character and her family. What piqued my interest was Renee's daughter...sweet, virginal, Isabella Swan. Practically a daughter to Esme and her husband since Isabella's parents had died in a crash when she was 15.

When James told me that, my brain had gone into overdrive and I conjured up a plan to seduce Ms. Swan, make her fall madly in love with me, get in good with aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle then expose my mother for the fake she is. Sexing up the virgin was going to be the fucking bonus for me. I had yet to fuck a virgin.

I walked into the diner and sat at one of the booths lining the wall. The place looked like it had been around as long as this shitty town. I found out from James that this is where Isabella works. I had yet to actually see her in person. This was our "accidental" meeting. Only she had no idea this was far from accidental. This shit had been planned out in my head for over a week now.

I opened the menu looking it over, deciding what to order. When I settled on what I would have, I placed the menu back on the table and looked around. It wasn't too busy for a weekday afternoon. After a couple of minutes, a waitress walked over and stopped at my booth. I looked up at her and noticed her name tag read, _Bella_. James had often called Isabella, Bella, during his stories, so I assumed this was her and she went by Bella.

She cleared her throat, I looked up at her face and she blushed. Perfect, she looked like a shy one. A few nice words, some winks and crooked smiles and I'd have her eating out of the palm if my hand in no time. This shit was going to be too fucking easy.

"Hello, Bella," I said, smiling at her, "I am new in town and heard that this was the best place to eat." She nodded her head and smiled at me.

"Well, welcome to Forks!" She said with a smile, her blush deepening just a little. "You heard correctly, we have the best food in town. What can I get for you today?" She began to nibble at her bottom lip and I'll be damned if it wasn't sexy. She probably had no idea how fucking sexy it was though. I bet she had never even been touched by a guy. Probably hasn't even been kissed properly.

"I think I'll have a Bacon double cheeseburger, an order of fries and a strawberry milkshake," I told her as she wrote my order down. She looked down at me again when she was done and smiled widely.

"Okay, I will have that out to you to in a few," she said, as she turned to go behind the bar of the diner. I knew from what James had told me about Bella that she was pretty much as wholesome as you could get. But I had no idea how fucking hot she was going to be. She had the deepest, most captivating brown eyes I'd ever seen. Her chestnut colored hair was long and wavy. She was sexy as hell, and I could tell in just the few minutes that I had observed her, she had no idea. She didn't sway her hips when she walked. She didn't lick her lips suggestively. She was just all innocent and sweet, I couldn't wait to corrupt her.

About ten minutes later, Bella came over with my food. She sat it down on the table and placed the bill under the salt shaker.

"Let me know if you need anything else..." she said, as if she were waiting for something. Oh, okay, I get it. She wanted to know my name.

"E.J., the name is E.J." I told her, smiling at her boldness. There was no fucking way in hell I would be giving her my full name. That was just asking for trouble.

"Well, E.J., welcome to Forks and enjoy your meal." With that, she walked back behind the bar as I began to eat. It didn't take me long to finish the greasy food. I left Bella a hefty tip on the table along with enough to pay the bill and headed back out to my bike.

I walked into the diner feeling good. My plan starting to fit into place perfectly. I had Bella's schedule down to a T and over the last few weeks, I had gone into the diner to eat. Bella started to get a little more open and comfortable around me. It was making my seduction job much easier. I put on the Masen charm and she was like putty in my hands, flirting and laughing with me.

I sat down in what had become my regular booth and made myself comfortable. I spotted her at another table in the back of the diner. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail and she wore the usual Forks Diner uniform of black shorts and a red t-shirt with the restaurant logo on the front. The shorts showcased her creamy, long legs and the shirt was tied on the side in a knot that exposed an inch of her flat stomach.

When I first started coming in, Bella's uniform was a little different. Her shorts were longer and the shirt was tucked in to them. The more I came in, the more she seemed to "let loose". And honestly, she was becoming very sexy in her own way. Bella had become a fantasy that I'd partake in nightly in the shower. Bella walked over to my table, smiling widely at me. I smiled back at her as she stood in front of me.

"Let me guess, E.J. Your usual?" she asked me, not even bothering to wait for an answer before she began writing my order down.

"You know me too well, Bella," I told her, winking. She giggled a bit and walked back and placed my order with the cook. After a few minutes, she brought my food out and placed it on the table, but she didn't walk away immediately like usual. Well, it seems as if little Bella was finally going to make a move. Like I said, too damn easy.

"E.J., I was thinking," she said, quietly. I looked up at her and smiled the fucking blush was back. I knew it was only a matter of time. My inner self smiled, this was going to be so fucking easy.

"Yes, Bella?" I asked her, trying not to show my excitement that she was falling for my plan perfectly. She had pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and was nibbling on it nervously.

"I was wondering. There is a small street fair and carnival uptown this weekend and I wanted to know if you would like to come with me?" she asked me, twisting a bit of her hair around her tiny finger.

"I would like that very much Bella. I haven't had a chance to do much yet and that sounds like fun," I replied, smirking like the asshole that I am on the inside. I can get the next part of my plan in motion and maybe even get some play out of it. She looks all fucking sweet and innocent but I bet once she gets wound up she can be feisty as hell. And I definitely like feisty.

"Okay," she said rushing off. It seems as if I would have to be the one to finalize the plans since she was so nervous.

I finished off my food and pulled a small slip of paper from my jacket pocket. I wrote down my cell phone number and placed it with Bella's tip on the table. Standing up, I pulled my jacket on and spotted Bella clearing off a table by the door. I walked over to her and leaned down by her, letting her feel my breath on her ear as I spoke.

"I left you a little something extra tonight. Can't wait for this weekend." I stood back up and walked out of the diner, smirking the whole way.

I wasn't surprised that Bella hadn't called immediately. I knew that she would have to squeal about it to her girlfriends and get their opinion on what to do. They'd tell her to wait a couple of days to make the call. So I found myself, on Thursday afternoon, waiting on Bella's phone call. I knew that she wouldn't wait until tomorrow because that would be really short notice. The phone rang and I laughed. I cleared my throat and answered by the third ring.

"Hello?" I heard a sigh on the other line and had to keep myself from laughing.

"Hello, E.J.. This is Bella." She told me, as if I hadn't already caught the sound of her voice.

"Yes, Bella. How are you this afternoon?" I had to make nice. No matter what I was actually planning on doing to her, I needed her to believe the lie. If this shit was going to actually work, I needed her to trust me.

"I'm doing okay, E.J. Just wanted to make sure we were still on for this weekend. I understand if you had something better to do," she said quickly, expecting me to ditch her. Now what kind of boyfriend material would I be if I were to ditch her when something better came along?

"Of course we are still on for this weekend. Where else would I rather be than spending time with you, Bella?"

"Okay, so I guess you can pick me up Saturday around eleven at the diner. Is that okay?" she asked. I could almost see her biting her bottom lip nervously or twirling her hair on her finger as she waited for me to answer.

"That sounds great. See you then, Beautiful." I said, hanging up quickly before she had a chance to say anything else. She probably jumped around and squealed in her bedroom before immediately dialing one of her BFF's to share what had just happened. This shit was just too easy. I was going to have her eating out of the palm of my hand before the end of the weekend.

**A/N: Just a reminder, I signed myself up for The Fandom Gives Back Eclipse Edition. You can find more info at www (dot) thefandomgivesback (dot) com. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Thank you to my beta who takes time out of her busy schedule to look over my writing and make sure it doesn't suck. Love ya!**

_"Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families_"

_Anonymous_

I woke up at ten o'clock on Saturday morning because I didn't even bother to set an alarm clock the night before. I knew Bella would still be waiting there if I decided to show up at three o'clock in the afternoon. That was just the type of girl she was, I could already tell. She'd pretty much let anyone run over her and I was banking on that fact.

But I didn't want to seem like such an asshole quite yet so I jumped up and quickly took a shower. By quickly, I mean that I spent five minutes rubbing one out to the beautiful image of Bella on her knees taking me into her hot, wet mouth and the other five minutes actually washing. It had become a daily need of mine, to conjure up some type of fantasy involving Bella. She had somehow taken up all allotted images in my head needed to find my release. And that shit was confusing. I usually had an array of fantasies but as of late the only one I could picture when I closed my eyes was a brown haired, brown eyed, innocent, sexy...if I kept going with that train of thought I would be extremely late.

I grabbed my helmet and the extra one I had for any particular female passenger and I made my way over to the diner. I used the ride over to refocus on my goals. Esme had left me when I was a baby with that bastard I was forced to call a father. She needed to pay for what she made me go through and Bella was my pawn in that revenge. I just needed to keep my eye on the prize. Bring down the Cullen's, and use little Miss Isabella Swan to do it.

I pulled into the diner at a quarter after eleven and stopped right in front of where Bella stood. She was wearing a pair of cut off denim shorts, a blue tank top and flip flops and I will be damned if she didn't look fucking hot as hell. Any other girl wearing this would probably look sloppy, but she pulled of the casual look well. Hopping off my bike, I walked over to where she stood. I could already tell she was nervous because she was fidgeting with the hem of her top and avoiding eye contact.

That shit wasn't going to work, I needed to make her comfortable. I reached out and placed a finger under her chin, tilting her face up until we made eye contact.

"Morning beautiful," I said, kissing her on the cheek as she smiled widely at me, blushing. That fucking blush was so hot. She had absolutely no idea how damn sexy she was when she did it.

"Good morning," she replied, as I grabbed her hand and led us over to my bike. I handed her the extra helmet and she looked at me puzzled.

"I don't have a car yet so I figured this would do. I mean, if you want, we can walk, but I'd really like you to give you a ride on my bike," I said, whispering the last part in her ear. I pulled back from her and the blush had spread across the exposed skin of her chest. I briefly wondered how far the blush spread across her body. And how she would look on my bed, spread out for me. I needed to get off this train of thought, and quickly.

"No, this is fine," she replied, placing the helmet on her head. I helped her adjust the helmet and then climbed on my bike. I scooted up further and winked at her.

"Hop on, Baby." She climbed on behind me and I grabbed her arms and wrapped them around me.

"Hold on tight," I said as I started the bike and we headed uptown.

I parked the bike near some shaded trees and placed our helmets on the seat. Bella stood by me and pulled her hair into a high ponytail that showed off a glorious amount of her smooth, glistening neck. We began walking towards the entrance to the fair and I noticed it was actually pretty fucking busy. There were lots of families and couples around, all of them holding hands and smiling. I cringed as I thought about what I needed to do. I grabbed her hand in mine and she smiled at me widely. I hated this. Edward Masen didn't fucking hold hands. I never did, it's just something I didn't do. Yet, here I was, holding Bella's hand and attending a fucking carnival. This revenge better be fucking worth it.

I paid our way in, like a good guy would do, and led her through the gates. There were food vendors and midway games set up all along the streets of uptown Forks. Kids were walking around with giant stuffed animals and parents were pushing strollers and shit. This was the type of crap that I am so glad I didn't have to partake in growing up.

"Oh Look!," Bella said, pointing towards the open field down the block. It was a giant ferris wheel that looked like it might be on its last leg. No way in hell was I about to get on that fucking death trap.

"Do you think we could go on that later?"

Shit.

"Sure. Whatever you want babe," I told her, forcing a smile on my face. I really hoped she would forget about it, but honestly didn't think she would from the excitement on her face. We walked around, browsing the different items vendors had for sale. Suddenly, Bella's hand was pulled from mine and I turned around sharply to see her being spun around and held tightly by some fucking bear of a man. I mean, shit, this guy was fucking huge. His arms were probably bigger than my damn thighs.

"Emmett," she squealed, "put me down!" He laughed and so did she as he placed her down on the ground. _Well, what the fuck is this shit? Who the hell does he think he is coming up and grabbing her like that?_ Bella came back to my side and placed her hand on my arm.

"E.J., this is Emmett McCarty," she said, as the guy held his hand out to shake mine. I took his hand in mine and noticed how much fucking bigger he was then me. I could probably take his ass out if needed, but I definitely wouldn't go unscathed.

"Nice to meet you," I said as friendly as possible at the moment. A tall, blonde woman came up to stand by his side, as well as another couple. The other guy looked as if he was trying to figure out what my deal was and the girl looked as if she was bouncing on her damn toes for some fucking reason.

"E.J.," Bella said, as she began to introduce me to what I assumed to be were her friends. "This is Rose , Emmett's girlfriend. And this is Jasper Hale, Rose's brother, and his girlfriend, and my best friend, Alice Brandon." I shook everyone's hand and told them how nice it was to meet some of Bella's friends. This being nice and caring shit was getting really old, really fucking fast, but it was what had to be done.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Alice said, smiling widely at me, "Bella has told me so much about you." I looked over to Bella to find her blushing furiously. I pulled her into my side and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"All good things I hope," I said, winking at the girls. The guys grabbed their girls' hands and I followed suit, feeling like that shit would probably make Bella happy. We all walked along, chatting and browsing along the sidewalk.

"Why don't we grab some food now, since it's around lunchtime?" Jasper said, as we came up on another food area. We all agreed and found a table to sit at. I found out what Bella wanted and walked over with the guys to get some food. Honestly, could this fucking town offer something that wasn't smothered in grease and deep fried. I have probably gained fifteen pounds from my daily visits to the diner and realized that I needed to start working out again to keep from getting a fucking gut.

I placed mine and Bella's food down in front of us and sat down beside her to eat. She kissed me gently on the cheek and whispered a quiet thanks as she nibbled a fry.

"Honestly, Emmett, did you save any food for anyone else?" Rose asked as he sat down in front of his meal. He had ordered for himself three hotdogs and a couple orders of fries, along with Rose's burger and fries.

"I'm a growing boy who needs to eat," he said grinning widely as he took a large bite from one of his hotdogs. We all sat and ate quietly until Alice spoke up.

"Bella, you should head into Port Angeles with Rose and me next week. We were going to do some shopping and head over to the spa," she said, as she glanced at Bella. Bella rolled her eyes and I wondered what that was all about.

"Alice, you know I hate shopping. Why do you continue to ask me to go when you know I loathe it," she said, laughing. Bella really was a unique girl. I had never met a girl who didn't enjoy shopping to some extent.

"Come on Bella. It'll be a big girls day," Rose chimed in, "you know you want to. We haven't hung out in a while. Please?" Bella groaned and placed her head on her arm on the top of the table. I decided to up my game a little bit. I bent down and whispered into her ear.

"You should go, Baby. You'd have some fun and you could pick up something nice to wear for me," I said, as my lips grazed her ear. She looked up at me blushing as she bit her bottom lip slightly. She raised her head and looked at Alice and Rose in defeat.

"Fine, I'll go," she sighed. The girls squealed in delight and I placed my hand on Bella's thigh under the table. I placed a kiss on the side of her neck and she practically melted into a puddle on the bench. As I have said before, too fucking easy.

Once we were done eating we walked around and played a few of the games set up. After a while, I actually found myself having fun with everyone. I could see myself hanging out with them occasionally and was thankful that maybe being in Forks wouldn't be as boring as I thought. But I knew that once I revealed my asshole tendencies to the little town, they would all hate me and that was that.

"Hey man," Emmett said as we walked towards some of the rides, "why don't you come out and hang with me and Jasper while the girls have their chick day?" I thought about it for a bit and figured it wouldn't hurt anything. Maybe I could get some more inside info on Bella without having to come straight out and ask her and I think I had gotten all I was going to get out of James.

"Sure man. Sounds good."

I pulled back into the parking lot of the diner beside Bella's truck. I figured she had me pick her up here this morning because she wasn't quite ready for me to meet the family yet and I wasn't about to argue. Didn't need my self outed this early in the game.

"I had a great time tonight, E.J." she said handing me back the helmet. I had too, despite the fact that she had actually drug me on that damn death trap in the field.

"Me too, Babe. It was fun," _surprisingly_. She stood looking at me for a few moments, no doubt wondering if I would kiss her or not. Once again, this was part of the plan. She finally decided to turn around and hop in her truck. Once she was seated inside, I walked over and leaned in towards her. I gently cupped her cheek with my hand, and as she closed her eyes, I brought my mouth down to hers. She stilled for a moment but then quickly began kissing me back. I pulled away, leaving her breathing heavily. Her eyes were still closed and I smirked at how much that one little kiss had affected her.

"I'll call you," I said as I hopped on my bike and left her waiting and wanting more.

Too damn easy.

**A/N: Don't forget...I signed myself up for The Fandom Gives Back auction. It starts tomorrow. I am offering 3, 3K minimum one-shots for $10 each. First come, first serve. They can be from any of my existing stories or something completely original. For more info on my auction, check out this site **

**www (dot) thefandomgivesback(dot) com/browse(dot)php?id=382**

**Or you can just go to the FGB site and find my name. It might be easier that way. LOL**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Thanks to my beta for making my words sound pretty. Thanks to the girls that bought me in the FGB auction. **

**Sorry for the wait on this one. I was all wrapped up in the FGB auction and having to wait until Friday to see Eclipse. Anyways, here it is...**

**_"Friends are relatives you make for yourself"_**

**_Eustache Deschamps_**

"I am telling you man, I bet my Rose could kick your ass all around a damn garage," Emmett said as we walked across the street to Black's. Black's was a local bar owned by some guy named Jake that Emmett and Jasper were good friends with. Bella had taken off with the girls this morning for her little getaway and I had agreed to hang out with these fuckers in the meantime.

"I don't know," I replied as we walked inside, " I know my way around cars and shit." Emmett had been telling us how Rose had fixed up his jeep after he got it and I had to admit, that was pretty fucking hot. A woman who knew her way around cars and wasn't afraid to get dirty had to be pretty fucking bad ass.

"My sister has been tinkering on motors and crap since she was in diapers," Jasper said, as we sat down at the bar, "I'm damn sure she could kick your ass." Both Jasper and Emmett started nodding their heads and laughing and I had to join in.

"Well shit, I can't argue with that," I said once they had quieted down some. Some huge fucker came towards us behind the bar and I began to wonder what the fuck they fed these people around here. This guy wasn't as huge as Emmett, but he was well on his way.

"Jake, my man," Emmett said as he fist bumped the guy, "I'd like you to meet E.J. He's new here in town and we thought we'd show him a good time since Bella is out with the girls today." The fucker looked at me like he was ready to brawl but then he stuck his hand out and shook mine.

"I don't know why we chose to come here though since we wanted to show him a good time," Jasper snickered beside me. Jake reached over and punched him in the arm and I'm not gonna lie, that shit looked like it fucking hurt.

We each ordered a beer and Jake joined us on the other side of the bar. We talked about sports and the usual guy shit until the conversation came back around to me.

"So, how did you end up here in Forks?" Jake asked as he took another sip of his beer. I had already thought up a complete cover story for the reason I was here because I knew questions like this could fuck up my whole plan.

"I lived in Chicago and basically got tired of the big city and wanted something different. A friend of mine mentioned he'd gone surfing one time at a place called First Beach in La Push. He talked about how quiet and peaceful was and I decided to do some research. But how I ended up in a town named after an eating utensil is beyond me," I said as we all laughed.

"Where are you staying at right now? I know you have been here a few weeks, but haven't heard Bella mention it," Jasper asked.

"I'm staying at the only hotel here in town until I find somewhere else. But first I'm more concerned about getting a job." And that was the fucking truth. Now that I could no longer count on Daddy Dearest to pay for shit, I knew I needed to find some type of job.

"Well, I might be able to help you out with that E.J." Jake said, as he walked back behind the bar. "I took over this place when my dad got sick. I've been running it by myself for a while now and I just can't really handle it right now. I'm starting some college courses soon and I still have to take care of my dad and I'll need someone around to open and close and shit for me. There's even an apartment upstairs that you could live in, rent free just as long as you keep up with the maintenance of the place upstairs and downstairs. It wouldn't be hard because I have Quill, Embry and Seth working too. I just need someone that can stick around until closing and that could watch the place, know what I mean?"

"Really?" I asked him and he nodded his head. "I mean, you barely know me and you are offering me a place to live above your bar and a job on top of that. Are you sure?" I really was hoping this fucker was sure because that shit sounded right up my alley but too fucking good to be true.

"Yeah. Emmett and Jasper seem to be alright with you and if Bella is with you then I know you're an okay man," he leaned across the bar to nudge my shoulder. If he only knew the shit I had planned, offering me a job and a place to stay would be the last thing on his mind.

"Alright then. I accept. When do you think I could move in because I am getting a little tired of staring at the floral pattern on the damn walls of that hotel room?" All the guys cracked up.

"Pretty much anytime you're ready. The place already has a futon, recliner and a TV, so you really don't need anything. It has a small kitchen but you'll need to stock that stuff yourself."

"Alright then. Thanks again, man."

I laid back on the futon and threw my legs up on the arm at the end. I wasn't really tired from the move since I didn't have much shit to begin with. Jasper and Emmett helped me bring the stuff over since all I had was my bike.

The place wasn't bad at all. It had just a living area, a small kitchen, a bedroom, and a bathroom. All I needed since I probably wouldn't be here long anyway. Once everything went down, Jake would probably throw me out on my ass.

I closed my eyes and relaxed for a bit when I heard my phone beep signaling a text. I picked it up and smirked when I saw it was from Bella.

**Just got home. Did u have a good day with the guys? -B**

To be honest, I did have a pretty good day with Emmett, Jasper and Jake. I hadn't expected much but walked away with an apartment and a job. Who could argue with that?

**I did. How about u? Did u get something pretty?**

I could picture the blush she was probably sporting about now remembering what I whispered in her ear at the carnival.

**Wouldn't u like to know... -B**

Well now...Little Miss Innocent had decided to flirt. She's probably expecting me to ask about what she bought but where is the fun in that. I can just get her to show me later.

**You know I would. I've got some news.**

It took her a few minutes to respond. I was sure she was flustered and wondering what type of news I had.

**News? good or bad? -B**

I decided to fuck with her a little bit. What can I say? I'm an asshole.

**Wouldn't u like to know...**

I snickered as I hit send and waited for the inevitable. It didn't take long at all before my phone started ringing.

"Bella," I said, answering the phone. I had known her for only a few weeks and already had her pegged.

"Hey E.J. So, what's the news? You're killing me here," she said with a strained laugh. I could sense the nervousness in her voice.

"Me and the guys went out to Black's today and Jake offered me a job. I am now sitting in my new apartment above the bar."

"Really? That's great. I had no idea you were even looking for a job. I knew you wanted to live somewhere else besides that crappy motel but I guess Jake helped you out with both, huh?" she said.

"Yeah. Having a job means that I can stick around here longer," I said to her, knowing full and well that sticking around here was the last thing I wanted to do. Once all this shit went down it would be adios Forks, adios Bella Swan. "The apartment is nothing fancy or anything, but it's mine, for now at least. You'll have to come check it out sometime."

"Of course. I'd love to come by and check it out," she said, fighting back a yawn. I looked at the clock and realized it was pretty damn late. Jake wanted to show me around the bar in the morning before it opened so I could get used to all the shit.

"I better get going. Jake wants to show me some stuff tomorrow morning so I can be ready to start work next week."

"Yeah, me too. I have an afternoon shift tomorrow so I at least get to sleep in a bit. Alice wore me out today," she said.

"Night, beautiful. Sleep well."

"Night E.J."

Taking my usual booth at the diner, I sat down and looked around for Bella. We must have spotted each other around the same time because she smiled and offered me a small wave. I winked at her and she blushed, turning back around to her work. After a few minutes, she came over to take my order.

"Your usual today, E.J?" she asked. I decided this morning that it was time to see just how serious Bella was feeling about me now. The quicker I could get this shit over with the quicker I could get out of this god forsaken town.

"Yeah, let me get my usual but double it up. I'm meeting someone special today," I said, leaving it at that. She looked at me confused a bit but said a quiet okay and left to put in the order. I knew she was wondering who I was meeting. She was probably racking her brain trying to figure out if I was meeting another woman here. I did say it was someone special.

A little while later she brought over the food and placed mine in front of me while placing the other on the opposite side of the table. She turned to walk away without saying anything when I grabbed her wrist and stopped her, spinning her around to face me. I stood up and cradled her face in my palm and gave her a soft, slow kiss.

"I was hoping you would be able to join me for lunch today? Do you think you can take a break?" I asked her. She looked at me shocked and then blushed.

"I thought you were meeting someone special for lunch?" she questioned me. I chuckled a bit before leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"Beautiful, you were the special someone I was meeting. Who else would I want to share this fine dining with?" She smiled and said she was going to go let everyone know she was on a break. When she came back, she sat down and we began eating our lunch. She asked me lots of questions about how I thought I would like working at the bar. I asked her how her shopping trip went. We continued our casual conversation for a bit before I decided to go ahead and ask her what I came here to ask her.

"Baby, what are your plans for Saturday? Do you have to work?" I asked her, hoping like hell she didn't. I really needed to get some alone time with her if I was going to up my game.

"No, I don't have to work. Why, what do you have in mind?" she asked, looking at me smiling. I had plenty of things I would like to happen but wasn't sure she was quite ready for that yet.

"Well, I know you wanted to get a look at my new place, so I figured we could do that and then I don't know. We could play it by ear. As long as I am with you, I don't really care what we do," I told her, leaning over the table and kissing her quickly.

"That sounds great. I'd love to spend the day with you on Saturday," she reached across the table and held my hand. I smiled at her all the while thinking of exactly what I was planning on doing with her, or rather to her this weekend.

**A/N: I have decided to make a few recc's this week. I know that I am always looking for something new and interesting to read so I thought I would try and help some of you guys out. **

**First, Osa Bella by Myg. This is an AU story and is amazingly written. I stayed up until 3am this morning reading it and loved it!**

**Dead on My Feet by Cesca Marie. This is another amazing story. It is AH and so different from anything that I have read. **

**Paper CutOuts by twistedcoincidence. This is a hot Daddyward that will often make you want to jump his bones yet also make you want to wring his neck. LOL**

**And finally, Amongst the Living by DazzlinSparkle05. I absolutely love the Edward in this story. Another great read!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Thank you again to my beta. Love you girl! **

_"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present"_

_Jan Glidewell_

"It's really not much but I wanted you to come by and see it," I told Bella as I ushered her through the bar and up the stairs to my apartment. I had gone and picked her up early this morning after the Cullen's had left. They had gone to Port Angeles to do some shopping so she was going to spend the entire day with me. I was hoping to get a jump start on putting the next phase of my plan in to action.

"I'm sure it's fine E.J." she said stepping into the apartment. I had actually tried to straighten up some before picking her up. I didn't want to seem like a total slob. It was amazing how much of a mess one person could make in just the few days I'd been staying here. But most of the time, once I closed up the bar, all I wanted to do was collapse into bed. I had never had to work a day in my life before coming to Forks and it was taking its toll on me.

"So, this is the kitchen, there's the living room, through there is the bedroom and bathroom," I said motioning towards to the door on the other side of the small room. "It really isn't much," I said, and it was true. I had grown up in a house where the bathroom was as large as this whole apartment. But for some reason, it meant more to me because I was the one actually having to work for it. I was finally out from under the thumb of Ed Masen and it felt good. Damn good.

Bella had walked over to the television stand and started to browse through some of the DVD's that were there. I leaned into her back and pushed her hair over one shoulder, kissing her lightly behind her ear. I felt her shudder and I smiled. "We can watch a movie a little later," I whispered. She nodded her head and it looked as if she may have shook it slightly to clear her daze.

Her eyes fell on my acoustic guitar that was leaning up against the wall in the corner. She walked over and ran her finger lightly across the strings. I'm not gonna lie, she was freaking me out. I never let anyone touch my guitar. It was time to get her mind focused on other things.

"You play?" she asked turning back around towards me. I nodded and she smiled widely. "Can you play something for me?" I shook my head and placed my arms around her waist.

"Later," I whispered as I bent down and kissed her gently. She responded to the kiss enthusiastically, opening her mouth when my tongue brushed her lips. I slowly walked us backwards until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the couch. I lowered her down slowly, never breaking apart from her mouth.

Hovering over her, I moved my mouth to place gentle, open mouth kisses along her jaw and neck. Bella began to moan and rock beneath me. With the sounds she was making, I was sure she was liking this so I took a chance with my next move. I kept one hand on the back of the couch and moved one to the lower hem of her shirt that had risen up. I began to caress the small amount of skin that was now visible and moved back to kissing her mouth. When she didn't tense up, I moved my hand up higher, lifting her shirt as I went. She tensed up a bit and I began to gently nibble at her jaw, moving towards her ear.

"Shhhh, trust me," I whispered, taking her ear lobe in my mouth and sucking gently. She nodded her head and I continued to move my hand further up her shirt. I gently ran my thumb across the thin material of her bra making her nipple pucker up. She moaned loudly and I couldn't help the smirk that was plastered across my face. No matter how innocent the girl, grab her tit and she moans like a damn slut. I started to fondle her tit and lowered myself down a little so she could feel the erection I was now sporting in my jeans. I continued slowly thrusting against her and kissing her neck and jawline.

"E.J," she moaned as I continued fondling her tits. My dick was rock hard almost to the point of being painful. I was sure that I wasn't going to get any relief today and I knew that I was going to have some major fucking blue balls. The way she was moaning and rocking beneath me made me want to strip her down and fuck her right now, plan be damned.

"That feel good baby?" I asked, rocking into her and nibbling the skin behind her ear. She moaned loudly again and I smiled before I bit down gently.

"God yes, but I really think we need to stop." And yes folks, there it was. I'm not stupid. I knew there was no chance in hell I was going to get in her pants the first fucking time I brought her over to my apartment. That shit would've been too fucking easy.

I leaned up and looked into her eyes and smiled. I placed a gentle kiss on her lips before sitting back up and adjusting the problem in my pants.

"I'm sorry," she said, "it's just that...I haven't really..." I moved over and interrupted her babbling with a quick kiss.

"It's okay. I understand," I told her, pulling her to me on the couch. "Now, how about we watch that movie?"

Bella had come over to my apartment or the bar every day this week. She would talk to me while I wiped tables or washed glasses. On her day off, she even helped me close up the place. It had actually become pretty nice to have her around. I had shared some things about my past with Bella, but nothing that would reveal who I was. She was damn easy to talk to and I knew she wasn't just talking to me and dating me for my money. Bella was actually pretty damn sweet and funny as hell. She could make me laugh almost as hard as Emmett could and that was saying something.

When I started this whole revenge kick, I wasn't counting on truly liking Bella. But yet she turned out to be a pretty fucking awesome person. And now there was a war raging in my head as to whether or not I wanted to hurt this girl. Yes, I wanted to make Esme Cullen regret that she ever left me with that bastard of a father, but did I truly want to hurt Bella in the process?

Bella and I were both off today so we were just going to play it by ear. She suggested we take a walk downtown and I reluctantly agreed. All I really wanted to do was lock her away in my apartment and have my way with her. I had managed to feel her up a couple more times during some heated make-out sessions but that was as far as I had gotten. I needed to keep my head in the game and I planned on doing just that.

We walked hand in hand down the sidewalk, she would slow down and glance what was in the window displays of the local shops. At one point Bella squealed and tried to pull me off in a sprint towards the water at the docks. My feet suddenly became weighted down as I refused to move from my spot on the sidewalk.

"Come on EJ, I wanna go feed the fish," she said as she continued to try and pull me in the direction she wanted to go. 

_"Hold that breath boy!"_

All I could hear was my own breath in my ears as I fought back a panic attack.

_"I bet you listen next time I tell your sorry ass to do something!"_

I hadn't had an attack in so long. This one snuck up on me out of nowhere. I closed my eyes and decided to let the blackness take over.

_"Aww, look at the sissy boy crying. He doesn't like water does he? Too damn bad...Hold that breath again!"_

When I opened my eyes again all I saw was a beautiful pair of brown eyes staring at me, full of concern and fear.

"Are you okay, baby?" she asked me. I realized she somehow gotten me to move since we were now sitting on a bench outside one of the stores on mainstreet.

"Yeah," I spoke, my voice rough, "sorry about that." I had actually never had an attack like that in front of anyone. Usually I avoided situations that would cause one.

"It's okay," she said as she gently cupped my face with her hands. "Was that about something I'm not supposed to ask you about from your past?" When Bella and I had started talking about my past, I told her some things I just wouldn't be able to talk about, not just because of who I was but that I just couldn't.

"Umm, yeah. Why do you ask?" I said as I reached up and placed my hand over hers. I couldn't believe she'd already calmed me down enough that I was able to talk. Usually after an attack like that, I was pretty much out of commission for hours.

"You just kept saying No, Dad, No over and over. So I kind of figured it was about your Dad and I know you never wanted to talk about him. So I just pretty much put two and two together," she told me. I leaned over and kissed her gently before pulling us both to stand up.

I really needed her to forget about what she just saw. Hell, I needed to forget about it. I couldn't be dwelling on that shit all night and neither could she.

"Yeah, thanks for not pushing me about that. Now, why don't we go pick up some things and I can cook you some dinner? How does that sound?" I asked her, once again walking hand in hand down the street.

"That sounds like a plan," she said, smiling brightly at me.

"That was great, baby," I told Bella as we gathered up the dishes from our meal. I had planned on cooking Bella something but once we got to the grocery store I realized I pretty much knew nothing about cooking. She laughed at my admission and began to gather the materials to make her special lasagna. And who was I to argue with a hot, home cooked meal?

I filled the sink up with some water and began to attempt to wash the dishes. I really had no clue what I was doing and by the huff of breath behind me, I had a feeling Bella did too.

"Oh for Christ's sake EJ, move over and let me do those or you'll be there all night," she said, laughing as she gently pushed me aside. I stood, watching her nibble at the side of her bottom lip as she methodically washed each dish. She was wearing a thin white tank top and I was praying that she would splash some water on her because I was damn sure that thing would be translucent when wet. And suddenly I was hit with a brilliant, if I must say so, idea.

I made sure she wasn't watching me as I reached out and grabbed the sprayer thingy from the back of the sink. Aiming it straight at her chest, I squeezed the trigger and was instantly thrilled with the results. The small tank top was now completely see through and it seems that Bella was wearing a very thin bra. Her nipples were very visible due to the cold temperature of the water and I couldn't help but stare.

"EJ," she squealed as she dropped the sponge in the water and turned to me, "you got me all wet!" I smiled and slowly stepped towards her, backing her into the bar behind us.

"Hmmmmm, it seems that I did get you all wet," I said, as I leaned forward, pressing my body into hers. I could practically feel how fast her heart was beating in her chest. She was breathing heavily and biting that bottom lip again.

"Wonder if this is the only place you're wet," I said as I ran my finger along the top of her shirt. She moaned as I began to kiss and nibble along her neck and it urged me on further. I ran my hand along the waist of her shorts, she made no move to stop me. I continued to kiss her while I slowly slipped my hand into the waistband of her shorts. She reached her hands up, fisting them into my hair and kissed me forcefully. And that was it.

Suddenly this wasn't about revenge or mind games, this was about me making her feel good. Right now I didn't care about any of the other shit going on in my life. I didn't care about the near panic attack I had earlier or the fact that she witnessed the attack. I didn't think about my father or Esme and the fact that I was using this girl to get back at my estranged mother. I didn't think about anything, it was just me and her, here now. I just wanted her to be happy. I slid my finger along the outside of her panties, they were completely soaked. She moaned at the contact my finger had made and I took the opportunity to slip my fingers inside her panties. Just as I suspected earlier, she was completely fucking wet...and she was bare. And it was fucking hot.

"God baby, you are so fucking wet, and you're bare" I babbled on as I kissed along her neck. She writhed against me as I ran my finger along her clit.

"Alice talked me into it at the spa last week. She said some guys...she said you might like it. Do you?" she said as I bit gently on her neck. 

_Thank you Alice._

"It's fucking sexy as hell, Bella," I told her honestly as I slipped a finger inside her. She was fucking tight and hot and wet and it was killing me right now not to just throw her down and fuck her. But this was about her, I wanted her to feel good. I wanted to be the one to make her feel good.

"God EJ, so close," she moaned as I added another finger and put pressure on her clit with my thumb. She gripped my hair tightly as I kissed the swell of her tits along the top of her shirt.

"Just let go baby," I whispered in her ear, "let me see you come." And almost instantly Bella let out an extremely sexy as fuck moan and came hard on my hand, squeezing my fingers tightly, all I could imagine was what that would feel like on my dick. I looked at her face as she came. She was beautiful. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips were moist, I couldn't resist kissing her at that moment.

"That was beautiful, baby," I said kissing her gently behind her ear. Once she regained use of her limbs she straightened up her clothing and looked at me shyly.

"Hey now," I said, tucking a stray strand of her behind her ear, "don't go getting all shy on me now. That shit right there was fucking hot as hell." And honestly it was. I had seen lots of women come in my time and it was hot. But what she just did, that was just straight out fucking beautiful.

"Maybe I should return the favor," she said pushing me against the counter and slowly lowering to her knees. I was shocked and speechless. What the hell happened to the shy girl I had first met? _You happened to her. _I grabbed her by her shoulders and made her stand up again in front of me. I kissed her gently and shocked myself with what I said next.

"Not tonight, baby. Tonight was about you." This girl had totally turned my world upside down. And I kinda liked it.

Edward Masen never turned down a blow job.

Edward Masen had never gotten a girl off without getting off himself.

Edward Masen was officially fucked.

**A/N: Yes, I might have been watching Remember Me while I was writing that dish washing scene. Sue me, LOL. **

**So, it seems our EJ/Edward might be having a change of heart, huh? Will it last? We shall see.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Thanks to my beta, who despite RL stuff always has time for my crap. LOL. ILY!**

_"Attraction is not a choice"_

_David DeAngelo_

My mind had been all over the place over the past few weeks. I was absolutely fucking thrilled that my plan to hurt Esme Cullen was coming together so nicely. I had seen Esme around town a few times, avoiding her at all costs. She just looked so fucking snobby, in her designer clothes and fancy car, and walked around acting like she was so much fucking better than everyone else.

I pretty much had Isabella Swan eating out of the palm of my hand. It made me almost sick at times to know how I was using Bella. Once she found out what I was doing here and what my plan was all along, she'd hate me and I honestly didn't think I could handle her hating me. The way she looked at me now, full of love and want, was one of the best things I had ever experienced.

Honestly, Bella was one of the best things, if not the best thing, to ever happen to me. I had never had anyone actually listen to me before. I could spend my days just talking to her and listening to her and be completely happy. And what she did after my attack near the docks was just amazing. She was able to connect with me on a level that no one had, that no one had even tried to, not even my father.

That's why what I was doing was gnawing away at me. I was barely sleeping or eating. When I did sleep I had horrible nightmares of when all this shit would go down. I could imagine the look of hate in Bella's eyes and it would jolt me awake. I took advantage of living above the bar by drinking a lot when I was alone.

But when I was with her, everything was right. We had been spending so much time together lately. We had become more physical the times we were alone together, which happened to be a lot. I had repeated my actions from that night weeks ago in the kitchen and she had returned the favor, numerous times. We had yet to sleep together though, not from her lack of trying. Since we had become physical, she had been repeatedly more forceful in showing her affections. I had been the one who had to keep stalling and it was killing me for her to think that I didn't want her. Because goddamn, I wanted her.

But I'm too fucking deep in this shit now. I would be all in the fucking moment, prepared to nip this fucking revenge plan in the bud and just fuck her and be done with it, but then Bella would moan my name or say something that would snap me out of it. I would have to pull away from her determined not to hurt her, but still let her know how much I wanted her. I was seriously fucked.

I grabbed the black button up that was lying across the bed and put it on with the jeans I had slipped on after my shower. Tonight, everyone was planning on coming over to the bar to hang out since I had to close the place up. We had rarely had a chance to all hang together. That was probably mostly my fault. I had decided not to get entirely too close to everyone because I knew once this shit went down, I was going to hurt some people, namely Bella and her friends. I had been purposely deceiving them for months now and they were probably going to want to kick my ass. And I was definitely going to deserve it.

I shut the door to my apartment and made my way downstairs to the bar. I grabbed a couple of cases of beer from the back room so I wouldn't have to do it later. It was Friday night and I was sure it was going to be busy.

I pushed through the back doors but couldn't see over the cases in my arms and almost dropped one of them. Luckily Emmett happened to be here early and was on his way up to my apartment.

"Let me get one of those," Emmett said, walking up and grabbing the case on top so I could actually see where I was going. I walked behind the bar and sat the case I had down, taking the one from Emmett. He sat down at the bar where Jasper was already sitting and took a drink of his beer.

"Where are the girls at?" I asked as I put away the beers and began to wipe down the bar.

"You know them," Jasper said, "Alice had to do a little Bella makeover."

"And she insisted on Rose's help," Emmett added. I laughed a little knowing exactly what they were talking about. I couldn't tell you how many times Bella had come over to my place fully decked out only to go in my bathroom and change her clothes and wipe the make up off her face. And I didn't mind a bit. Bella was the type of girl that didn't need any type of primping. She was naturally beautiful.

The guys sat at the bar and talked while I tended to the little bit of shit I needed to do before we got busy. I had Quil and Embry here so I wasn't too worried about having time to talk with everyone.

About half an hour later I turned around when I heard the front bell on the door chime and saw the girls walk in. Rose and Alice, of course, were decked all the fuck out. Bella trailed behind them looking hot as fuck. She had some type of black sleeveless dress that showed a lot of fucking skin. Thankfully Alice had let her wear flats with it. Because, God knows, I had been witness to plenty of Bella's clumsiness over the past few months.

Bella walked over and stood on the ledge at the bottom of the bar, leaning over to give me a quick kiss. I smiled widely like the damn pussy that this woman had turned me in to.

"Hey baby," she said, settling herself back down on the floor. She walked further down the bar taking a seat by Rose and Alice, and of course I followed, walking behind the bar until I was in front of her.

"Hey yourself," I said, smirking as I winked at her. "What can I get you ladies to drink?" I asked her and the girls. I knew Bella wasn't much of a drinker but I wanted her to be comfortable tonight, because I knew I probably wouldn't be. All this shit floating around in my head had made me a moody fucker.

"I'll have a Sex on the Beach," Rose said. I just shook my head and laughed a little.

"And I'll have a margarita," Alice added. I looked over to Bella and she looked a little intimidated.

"And what about you baby?" I asked her leaning on the bar. She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down a little. I had lately begun to wonder if she knew how sexy it was when she did that because no doubt, I was now sporting a major hard on. Thankfully I was hidden behind the bar.

"I think I'll have a Cosmo," she said, questioningly. I nodded my head and winked again.

"Good choice," I said, turning around to fix the girls drinks. Once they had their drinks, they decided to head over to one of the tables while the guys stayed at the bar. Lots of people began to trickle in, I tried to talk to them as much as possible. I didn't want to seem like a complete asshole but I did have a job to do.

A couple hours later, it was just me and Embry along with Bella and all the customers left in the bar. Closing time was in just a few minutes and I began to wipe down all the tables.

"Embry," I called over my shoulder to where he was standing behind the bar, "why don't you head on home. I can handle it from here."

"You sure man?" he asked me as he put the last of the glasses back.

"Yeah, go ahead," I told him. He smiled widely and got his shit together before I changed my mind.

"We're gonna head out to man," Jasper said as he walked over to where I was. Alice gave Bella a hug before she and Jasper walked out the front door. Bella and Rose were still sitting at the table talking quietly and Emmett walked over to where I was.

"Hey man," he said lowly to me, "can I talk to you for a sec?" I nodded my head and walked a little further away from the girls. For some reason I figured he wanted some privacy.

"Look, I can see how serious you and Bella are getting. I just want to tell you that she's had a rough life. She's a good girl and I just want to see her treated right and as far as I can tell you have been really good for her," he say I was shocked would be a complete understatement. I knew I was supposed to be the doting boyfriend, but I wasn't sure I was completely pulling that shit off. Evidently I was if it was obvious that I cared for her.

"Yeah man, I care about her a lot," I told him. And it was the truth. Over the past few months I had come to care for her tremendously. Hence the battle in my head over completing the plan I had arrived in town to do.

"But I am telling you this man," he said leaning towards me, "you hurt her and I won't hesitate to kick your ass." And with that, he clapped me hard on the back and walked over grabbing Rose and heading towards the door.

"I'm just gonna help EJ close up here," Bella told them before they walked out. I walked to the front door and locked it up. And then it was just us.

I continued to wipe down a few tables while Bella put the chairs up on the ones already cleaned. After a bit, she walked over to the jukebox sitting in the corner. I watched her as she looked through the songs displayed. She twirled a piece of her hair around her finger and slid a finger across the glass in thought. She looked so damn sexy just standing there lost in her thoughts.

I turned back around and placed the last few chairs up around the room. She must have finally made a decision because a song suddenly came through the speakers. I turned towards Bella and she was standing in the middle of the open floor looking straight at me.

"Dance with me?" she said quietly as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. I tossed the rag on one of the tables and walked towards her. Pulling her into my arms, she wrapped hers around my neck and we began to sway to the music playing. She looked into my eyes and I could see so much depth and emotion in them. I pulled her back into me, hugging her tightly as we continued dancing to the song.

I listened to the words of the song playing and it pretty much mirrored my life. Bella had become my someone. I cared for her a lot. She was the first person I thought about when I woke up and the last one I thought about before falling asleep. And it hit me. I was falling in love with Bella. I had come to this fucking town to cause hell and I was falling in love with the one person I shouldn't have.

Bella must have felt my body tense up because she stopped moving with me and looked up. Those big brown eyes stared back at me and I was lost. I reached my hand up to cradle her face and kissed her, trying to show every emotion I was feeling right now, but just couldn't bring myself to say. She returned the kiss with just as much passion as she pulled my body tightly against hers. I knew right in this moment, if she asked tonight, I couldn't deny her.

We continued to kiss passionately, standing in the empty bar. When she broke apart from me, needing air, I trailed soft open mouth kisses along her neck. Bella moaned and tried to pull me closer to her. She reached down and palmed my dick through my pants and I bit down gently on her neck to keep from letting out an embarrassing moan. I had been hard since she first walked in tonight and was afraid I would come at first contact.

"Let's head upstairs," she whispered in my ear as I palmed her ass. All I could do was nod my head.

We both entered my apartment and kicked off our shoes by the door. I led her into my bedroom, letting go of her hand to walk over to my stereo. Scrolling through my iPod, I found the song Bella had played downstairs and set it to repeat.

I turned back towards her and let my eyes roam her body. She was beautiful. She wasn't fiddling with her hands or nibbling at her lip, she was completely confident in what was happening. I walked over to her and pulled her body to me. We began to kiss slowly yet at the same time full of frenzy. Our hands roamed along each others bodies as if we were trying to memorize each and every inch of skin.

Still kissing her deeply, I moved my hands and found the zipper of her dress. I let my hands pause there a moment waiting for some kind of sign that she wanted me to stop. There wasn't one. I fumbled with the tiny zipper before slowly lowering it down. I thought the dress had hugged her body but I was completely wrong because once I moved my hands from around her, it pooled at the floor around her bare feet.

Bella was standing in my room clad in only a very skimpy pair of black lace panties and a black strapless bra and I was fully clothed. Something was completely fucking wrong with this picture. She must have read my mind because she stepped out of the dress pooled at her feet and began to slowly unbutton my shirt. Once she had it removed, she let her hands roam along my naked chest as she planted soft kisses across the skin. I moaned loudly when I felt her hand go to the button of my jeans and pop it open. She continued kissing down my chest as she lowered herself down my body. Once she was on her knees, she gripped the waist of both my jeans and boxers and tugged them down.

I gripped her under her arms and lifted her in the air, wrapping her legs around me. I reached around her back and unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. Feeling her naked chest against mine, I clutched the back of her head in one hand and pulled her to me, kissing her wildly. Walking us over to the bed, I lowered her down, hovering above her. I kissed along the swell of her breast, nibbling gently every so often. I continued kissing a trail down her naked abdomen until I reached the band of her panties.

I looked up at her and questioned her with my eyes. We had yet to be completely naked together and this was the one piece of clothing remaining. I was almost sure of her answer but couldn't help the breath of relief I released upon hearing it.

"Yes, please," she moaned as I slid the panties down her legs and tossed them behind me. I ran my fingers along her bare skin and she shuddered in response. Lowering myself between her legs, I placed a soft kiss on her clit and she tightly fisted her hands in my hair. Needing no other confirmation that I should continue, I began licking and sucking her pussy wildly. She moaned and arched her back when I added my fingers into the mix.

"God, baby," I whispered against her pussy, "you taste so god damn good." I pumped my fingers in and out of her knowing that I needed to bring her to orgasm to make the next part less painful for her. Pushing my fingers in, I felt the exact spot I needed and rubbed it continuously as she panted.

"Oh God, EJ," she nearly screamed, "oh god!"

"That's it baby. Come on my mouth," I said before biting down gently on her clit. I felt her walls squeeze around my fingers tightly as she finally gave into her orgasm. The sight of her coming at my touch just got more and more beautiful every fucking time. I slowly removed my fingers from her and licked her juices from them as she watched. Grasping me by my shoulders, she pulled me up her body and kissed me deeply. I know she must taste herself all over me, but she didn't seem to mind considering the grinding and moaning she was doing at the moment.

"Make love to me EJ," she whispers into my ear as she kissed along my neck. I pulled back from her and looked into her eyes for any sign of doubt. And I realized there was none.

"Are you sure baby?" I questioned her. Because I recognized that is exactly what it will be doing, we won't be fucking, or just screwing around, we will be making love. And that shit fucking scared me.

"I'm sure baby," she said as she pulled me in for a sweet, tender kiss. She put her hand between us to line up my dick with her pussy but I pulled away quickly.

"Condom," I said, reaching over to the drawer on my nightstand.

"You don't have to. I mean, I'm on the pill. Have been since I was younger. I'm clean obviously and I trust you," she whispered. I wanted to tell her so bad that she shouldn't trust me but I was too far gone and too far into the moment right now to even think rationally.

I slowly pushed myself into her and god damn she was so fucking tight. I heard her gasp a little and looked into her eyes. She looks like an angel laying there on my pillows, dark hair fanned all around her head. And she completely trusts me not to hurt her.

"I'm sorry baby. I know this is going to hurt. I wish it wouldn't," I told her kissing her quickly on the lips.

"It's okay. I'm fine," she said, pulling me to her to kiss me deeply. I take the opportunity and push forward slowly into her until I'm completely surrounded by her warmth. I pulled back to look at her, she winces a bit but then smiles lightly letting me know she's okay.

"Fucking Christ," I groan, pulling out again and thrusting forward, "you feel so fucking good, baby." And fucking hell, she does. After a few moments, Bella begins to rock her hips in unison with me and is moaning in pleasure. She feels fucking amazing and I can feel my release rushing forward rapidly. I reach between us and begin rubbing her clit with my thumb.

"Baby," I groan, my thrusts becoming more erratic, "Bella, fuck...I need you to come for me. Let me feel you." After a few more thrust and manipulations from my finger, I feel her pussy clench around me, holding me tightly. I drove into her a couple more times and finally found my release, moaning her name into her neck as I do.

Once our breathing had calmed down, I pulled myself from her and walked to the bathroom to get something to clean her up with. I gently washed her lower body and tossed the washcloth into the hamper and lie down beside her. She cuddled close to me and laid her head on my chest.

"That was amazing," she whispered into the darkened room. I kissed her softly on the head.

"It was," I agreed, because it was the truth. I had never experienced anything like what I'd just did with anyone else in my entire life. After a few minutes we both remained still and I heard her breathing slow down, I thought she was asleep, but I was wrong.

"I love you EJ," she whispered, running her hand along my chest. I'm not sure whether or not I was supposed to hear those words so I remain still and don't acknowledge them. Because god knows, I don't fucking deserve them.

**A/N: The song Bella and Edward dance to and then make love to is "Let it Be Me" by Ray LaMontagne**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thanks to my beta for taking time out of her busy schedule to look over this and multiple one-shots. ILY girly! Thanks to my prereader for assuring me this chapter wasn't pure crap. LOL**

_"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others"_

_Fyodor Dostoyevsky_

Guilt is an ugly thing. Mohammad once said that guilt is anything you did and fear others to know about. And that shit was fucking true. Since sleeping with Bella last week, I had become one paranoid mother fucker. I was constantly worried that Emmett had found out who I really was, what I was doing here and was going to kick my ass. After his little chat with me in the bar the other night, I no longer doubted that he could and would kick my ass once he found out. And I was afraid that Bella could sense that I was slowly pulling away from her. I was trying to distance myself because, fuck, I really didn't want to hurt her.

The morning after we made love, I woke up with Bella sleeping peacefully in my arms. Neither of us had bothered to dress when we were done so I was able to run my hand along her naked back as she slept. I was afraid I was waking her up because she began to mumble stuff that I couldn't understand. But as she kept going her words became clearer to me. She kept repeating over and over that she loved me and begged me not to leave her.

And that's what led to the guilt that was killing me right now. I knew no matter how much I felt for her, I didn't deserve her love. She loved this fabricated image of me. She loved EJ not Edward Masen Jr. She loved the sweet, loving boyfriend I had become for her not the hateful, spiteful son of a bitch that had rode into this town.

Bella was waiting for me downstairs. I would have asked her to come up but since sleeping together that night, we hadn't done anything physical again. Not that I haven't wanted to, because god damn I really wanted to. But I knew that I couldn't because if I did, I would never go through with it all. She would look at me with those big brown eyes and I would be lost.

I sat down on the bed, pulled my boots on and made my way downstairs. Bella was sitting at the bar talking with Jake and there were a few customers at tables.

"You ready to go?" I asked her as I stood beside her stool. She gulped down the rest of her soda and nodded her head at me. While she gathered her things I turned back to talk to Jake.

"Don't forget that I'm off tonight. I've got a party I have to go to," I said. Jake nodded his head at me and I grabbed Bella's hand as we walked outside. We were headed downtown to do some gift shopping. It seems that my mother's birthday was this week. Her party is tonight and you guessed it...I am invited. Tonight's when all this shit either blows up in my face or I get exactly what I wanted.

Bella was driving us in her car since I had yet to get anything other than my bike. I really had no need to since I'd probably be out of here by this time next week. I slumped down in the passenger seat as she made her way through the rainy streets. One thing I wouldn't miss about this damn town was the relentless rain. How the fuck was anyone in this town supposed to be fucking cheerful if it was always gray and fucking gloomy?

I could already tell that my mood was awful today and Bella could probably sense it was well. The entire five minute ride to Main Street had been quiet. Usually she would find some way to break up the silence if it was nothing but asking me how I slept the night before. And believe me, she probably didn't want to know that. Every night since making love to Bella, I had the same dream. She was in my arms, smiling and laughing and then suddenly she was ripped from my grasp. I woke up screaming her name and sweating like crazy every damn time.

Bella parked the car along the side of the street, we got out and made our way towards the shops. Why on Earth she had decided I needed to go along on the little excursion was beyond me? I knew nothing about this woman and yet she expected me to offer some kind of opinion on what to buy her for her birthday.

"So, you wanna head into this one first?" she asked, pointing towards some type of store that looked like it held little knick knacks and shit.

"Whatever," I replied, entering the store behind her. She turned around at my snarky remark but said nothing. I knew I was hurting her but it was nothing compared to what was coming. She began browsing the shelves and I noticed her reach up and brush her face quickly. She tried to hide a sniffle once and I knew I had fucked up.

I walked up behind her and placed my arms around her, hugging her tightly to me. I brushed her hair to one side and placed a gentle kiss beneath her ear, whispering to her.

"I'm sorry, baby." She turned around to look at me then and I saw that her eyes were pooled with tears. I kissed her sweetly on the forehead and grasped her hands in mine.

"I know I've been distant lately, but I've just got a lot running through my head right now. I don't mean to take it out on you," I said quietly. She wiped the tears from her face that had fallen and smiled back at me.

"It's okay. I understand," she said, letting go of one hand but holding the other tightly as she continued to browse the shelves. She had picked up a few items but ended up putting them back down. When we made our way towards the back of the store I felt someone grab my shoulder and I was prepared to turn around and punch the hell out of whoever it was.

"What the fuck?" I hissed, turning around to see who the hell it was. James stood before me, a creepy grin on his face.

"Hey, EJ, my man," he said, "Bella. How are you guys?" I hadn't talked to him in weeks so I had no idea if he even knew Bella and I were together.

"Hi James," she said, "We're just here picking up something for Esme. Her birthday party's tonight. I kind of put off buying her something as long as possible." James and Bella both laughed but I stood there, all suspicious and shit. I wondered what the fuck he was up to and why.

"EJ, I'm just going to go back up front and grab one of the things I saw there, okay?" I nodded my head and leaned over giving her a small kiss on the lips. Once she was out of ear shot James began to speak.

"So, you actually did it. You hooked up with Bella Swan. Didn't really think it could be done. But it looks to me like it's more than fucking on your end. The way it looks to me is that you've actually fallen in love with her," he said, laughing a little at then end. I grabbed him by his collar and pushed him into the wall.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm not in love with her. I could never be enough for someone like her! You should just keep your fucking nose out of other peoples fucking business!" I hissed at him as I pushed off of him and made my way back to the front where Bella was. She had already made her purchases and was waiting by the door for me.

I grabbed her hand and stalked quickly out of the store. My mood was completely fucked now. I needed to get away from Bella as soon as possible before I blew up at her for something that wasn't even her fault.

"So, did you get what you needed?" I asked her, trying my best to calm down. That fucker James had completely caught me off guard. I knew I was falling in love with Bella but I had no clue I was so damned transparent.

"Yeah, I picked up a few things for her. Did you want me to just drop you off back at your place so you can get ready for tonight?"

"Yeah, that sounds fine." I needed some time to wind down before I fucking had a damn panic attack or something. We got back in the car and made our way back to my apartment. When she pulled up I immediately unbuckled and reached for the handle to get out. Bella reached out and grasped my wrist stopping me.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked me. Fuck, I'd done it again. I had completely shut down on her and gotten all broody and shit.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll just go on inside and probably crash for a while before the party. I haven't been sleeping well lately." She smiled and nodded at me and I reached across the center console and kissed her.

"So, what time will you be by to pick me up?"

"Around six o'clock or six thirty. The party starts at seven but I figured I could introduce you to Carlisle and Esme before everyone gets there."

"That sounds fine to me," I said, kissing her again before getting out of the car.

**/CSA\\CSA/CSA\\**

I tossed and turned on the bed for a few hours before getting up and giving in. My mind wouldn't shut down enough for me to get any rest. I opened up the freezer and pulled out the bottle of vodka I had stashed there and poured me a glass. I downed it and poured another. I needed some type of liquid fucking courage to go through what the hell I was going to go through tonight.

After months of avoiding her all over town I was finally going to meet my mother tonight. I wasn't fucking scared of her. I was scared of what it was going to do to Bella when she found out I had been lying to her for months.

I downed the glass of vodka and didn't bother pouring another. I changed my shirt into one less wrinkled and then walked downstairs to the bar. I could already feel the liquor calming me down a bit but I still ordered a shot of whiskey when I went sat down at the bar.

"Nervous about tonight?" Jake asked. I nodded my head and downed the shot, sliding the glass across the bar asking for another.

"Something like that," I said, downing that shot as well.

"I know you're nervous as shit man, but I am gonna have to cut you off there. You don't need to go in there plastered," he said, laughing. I nodded my head because he was right and I didn't want Bella to walk in here and actually see me drinking. But I could already feel the effects of the alcohol in my system. I had a slight buzz going and it felt damn good.

"Hey you," I heard her say from behind me, "you ready to head out?" I turned around walked towards her kissing her on the cheek. I am sure she could smell the alcohol on me but she sure as fuck didn't need to taste it.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I mumbled under my breath as we made our way to her car.

**/CSA\\CSA/CSA\\**

I thought my father lived in a pretentious house but as we drove up the fucking mile long gravel drive to the Cullens place I realized how wrong I was. This place was huge and arrogant looking and showy. I could imagine my mother sitting on her ass all day as she had her fucking butler bring her cocktails as her god damn chef cooked her lunch. I couldn't stop the snort that escaped as I let my mind wander.

Bella turned to look at me but I just shook my head letting her know I was fine. She pulled around the side and parked in the garage, since she lived here and all. We got out and made our way inside the front door.

The inside was just as bad as the outside. Fucking vases that looked as expensive as hell, paintings that probably cost more than my damn bike did. We walked into the living room and it seemed that a few people were already here.

"I'm gonna go upstairs and grab the presents and put them in the dining room," she told me, kissing me quickly and heading for the stairs. I looked around and noticed there were actually more people here than I thought. Alice and Jasper were hanging in a corner along with Rose and Emmett. They were so deep in conversation that they didn't even notice Bella and I had arrived. I noticed the bar set up on the wall by me, so I moved over to it, sat down and ordered a shot before Bella got down. I downed it quickly and asked for another. I was sure to be fucking lit by the time good old mommy showed her face.

I stood up from the bar and wobbled a bit before gaining my balance. I chuckled a bit at myself and walked slowly to stand near the entrance where Bella had left me. I looked up the stairs and noticed Bella walking down with someone. It was her, my mother, Esme Cullen. Her hair was almost the exact shade as mine and her eyes were just as green. With the similarities between us, I was surprised Bella hadn't figured anything out yet. But she wasn't looking for it. I played my game well.

My mother looked me straight in the eye and cocked her head to the side a bit like she was trying to figure out where she knew me from. I had seen pictures of my father when he was my age and I am pretty damn sure she probably felt like she was looking at him. She stepped down from the final step to the floor facing me. Bella was standing beside her and a man, whom I assumed to be her husband Carlisle, had joined her from the other room.

This was it. The moment that would make or break me. I was either going to fuck up my life in a way I'd never imagined or do the best thing I had ever done.

"Esme, Carlisle, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend..." Bella started. I stepped forward and interrupted her.

"Edward. Edward Masen Jr." I said. The color drained from my mother's face as she stared back at me. I smiled back at her and said the words I had been waiting months to say.

"Hello, Mother."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry for the wait on this one guys. My beta had real life throw her some curve balls lately. Hope the madness dies down soon girl! So, thanks to Juliegirl18 for stepping in for me with this chapter. **

_**"The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you."**_

_**Anonymous**_

I opened my eyes and rubbed at my face, trying to wake myself up, wincing at the pain it caused. Rolling over in bed, I groaned when a jolt of pain hit me in my ribs. Very carefully, I moved myself over to the edge of the bed and stood up to make my way to the bathroom. I cut on the bathroom light and squinted, my eyes trying to block out the brightness. Opening the medicine cabinet, I reached in and grabbed some Advil, popping them in my mouth. I had a fucking major hangover and felt like shit. I knew I shouldn't have drunk so much, but with the stress of yesterday I had over done it.

I shut the cabinet and came face to face with my reflection. I knew I felt horrible but I fucking looked even worse. My lip was busted and pretty much the whole left side of my face was swollen. I looked down at my chest and it was purple all down one side. _What the fuck happened to me? _I gripped the side of the counter in the bathroom and hung my head down trying to remember what the fuck had happened last night.

_"Hello Mother," I said, smiling back at her. She gasped as her hand went up to cover her mouth. She was so shocked she wasn't able to stand any longer, her husband helping her to sit on the bottom step. She looked back at me, all the color draining from her face. Needless to say, she was surprised to see me._

_"That's right, Mom. Edward's back," I said, smirking. Everyone had come over to where we were standing and were equally as shocked as she was._

_"I am Miss Bella's boyfriend. Sweet, Innocent...ooops, not quite so innocent anymore, are you baby?" I mock whispered into Bella's ear._

I looked again at my face in the mirror and was disgusted.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!" I screamed as I repeatedly punched the mirror on the wall.

_I stood in the center of the room, several pairs of eye staring widely at me. Some held the look of confusion, some embarrassment, most of them shocked. I wasn't surprised by any of their looks._

_But there was only one pair of eyes that mattered. Only one of the people in this room meant anything to me right now and as I looked to my side, the face I was met with fucking broke me. Her eyes once showed nothing but joy, kindness and love towards me. Now they showed emotions that should never exist in her world. They were full of sadness, anger and hatred. _

_For me._

_I had finally done what I set out to accomplish when I came to this town, ruining her in the process. If this was the revenge that I needed so badly, why the fuck did it hurt so much?_

_I went to put my arm around her and she backed away. Her eyes were overflowing with tears as she tried to hide from the embarrassment of everyone witnessing the scene._

_"Don't you touch me! Don't ever touch me again!" she yelled at me, pushing past everyone to run upstairs. I snorted, not even bothering to try and hide it._

_"You weren't saying that last week, were you baby?" I hollered up the stairs at her. A few people around us gasped and I heard several people quietly whispering._

_"You mother fucker!" I heard someone yell. I turned around, right into Emmett's waiting fist. I was so fucking drunk that the one hit knocked me flat on my ass. I groaned and tried to get back up but Emmett was quicker._

_"I told you," he yelled, kicking me in my ribs, "if you ever hurt her," another kick, "I would kick your ass," another kick to the ribs._

_ "Emmett, babe stop," I heard Rose tell him, as I moaned in pain on the floor, "he isn't worth it." Emmett finally stopped kicking me and I tried to catch my breath. Every breath I took hurt like hell. I don't know how long I laid there, but finally someone grabbed one of my arms, pulling me up off the floor. _

_"Come on fucker," Jasper said, "I'll give you a ride home just to get you the hell away from everyone."_

I looked down at my bloody hand and winced when I tried to make a fist. I had injuries like this before and there was no way in hell I was making a trip to the hospital today knowing Carlisle would be there most likely. I took a quick shower and taped up my hand when I was done.

Getting dressed as quickly as I could with the pain in my ribs, I sat down on my bed and picked up my phone. No messages, no missed calls. Nothing. As much as I figured. I had fucked up big time, but wasn't that the plan all along?

I walked downstairs to grab a few boxes to pack my shit up in. I would have to put it in some kind of storage until I could find a way to get it to wherever I was headed. But I knew after the shit I pulled last night, my face would be the last one Jake would want to see this morning.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jake asked from behind me. I turned around, his eyes opened widely and he snickered at the wounds on my face.

"I'm getting a few boxes so I can pack my shit up. I'll be out of here as soon as I can. I don't want to be any more trouble than I already have," I told him honestly.

"Look, man. I know you fucked up last night, I've already heard all about it. Jasper told me everything this morning. But that shit has nothing to do with the work you do here. Yeah, Bella is a good friend of mine but I can't deny that you've helped me out here lately. I hate saying this, but I fucking need you here. My dad has gotten worse off and I need more time with him. So, I'm asking you to stick around here," he quietly said.

"Fuck man, are you sure? I don't want to come between you and your friends." I had no clue what to say to him. I wasn't expecting this. I expected to cause this shit storm and then be able to run the fuck off, not stick around for the aftermath.

"Look, I am just going to say this once. You are no longer my friend. You are my employee. I will treat you the same way I treat all the other guys. No special schedules, no asking to leave early. You understand?" He asked me, his face full of anger.

"Yeah, I get it. I'm cool with that."

**/CSA\\CSA/CSA\**

It had been a week since that fucked up night. Jake was right, I was no longer a friend. He had rarely spoken more than five words to me since the morning he asked me to stay. Quil and Embry both ignored me as well as most customers. It seems that the whole fucking town hated me. Fucking small ass town with rumors spreading like wild fire, except these weren't really rumors. They were the God's honest fucked up truth. I heard people constantly whispering but no one would flat out ask me about it.

I grabbed the bags of trash from behind the bar and took them outside to the dumpster. After throwing them inside, I stood against the brick wall and lit a cigarette. I had taken the habit back up after having quit for almost a year. All this fucking stress and confusion had me all kinds of fucking mind fucked.

I took a long draw and blew out the smoke, eyeballing a black sedan that I had noticed around the front of the bar lately. No one that I knew of ever got out of it. It just sat there parked for hours. It was fucking creepy as hell, but what the hell do I know about not being creepy?

I sat on my couch every night for a week with my cell phone in my hand and her number ready to dial, but I never could bring myself to call it. I knew she probably needed time to sort all this fucking shit out in her head. Hell, even after all that she probably wouldn't talk to me. Every night I listened to the song we had made love to on repeat. I was becoming one creepy emo mother fucker.

But I missed her. God, I fucking missed her so much and it had only been a week. I didn't even want to think about what I'd fucking do if she didn't let me back into her life. Bella had come into my life and it's like she fucking helped me live. For so long I was just running through the fucking motions, but with her it was so different.

"Edward, get your ass back in here! There's too much shit to be done for you to be taking a fucking cigarette break," Jake yelled out the back door. I took one last draw off the cigarette, tossing it to the ground and glancing one more time at the lone black car sitting at the far end of the lot.

"Jake, have you ever seen anyone actually get out of that black car out there?" I asked him as we walked back inside. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked over at me.

"You know what, now that you mention it, I don't think I have," he said, leaving it at that.

After a pretty busy day I finished up all the work at the bar and locked up heading upstairs. Kicking off my shoes, I walked over to the couch and began my new nightly ritual. I grabbed my cell phone and scrolled through my contacts until I came to her name. Taking a few deep breaths I finally hit send.

**One Month Later**

Every night for the past month I had left her a message on her voicemail. She had probably erased every fucking one of them without listening but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. The first one turned out to probably be the easiest one.

_"Bella, it's EJ...ummmm, Edward. It's Edward. I was wondering if maybe you could call me. I really need to talk to you, so yeah, just give me a call."_

I think every night they got a little more awkward. 

_"Bella, it's Edward again. I thought maybe somehow you didn't get the other messages I left, so I decided to leave you another one. I just really need to talk to you. So, give me a call. Please."_

After about a week, I was a little fed up. I had no right to be, but I was.

_"Bella, it's me again. Look, I get it, you're pissed. I completely understand. But I wish you'd give me a chance to apologize. Because I am sorry. Baby, I'm so fucking sorry. There's a lot of back story to the whole fucking thing and I just wish you would give me a chance to explain it all. I never wanted to hurt you. God, it kills me to know how fucking bad I hurt you. Just, please, give me a chance to explain. Please baby, please call me."_

When she hadn't called me for a few days after that message, I decided to carry on a conversation with her voice mail. It was all so fucked up but if that was the only way I could have her in my life, I would gladly talk to her voice mail nightly.

_"Hey baby, it's me again. Jake was being a real hard ass today. I know I deserve it but he could loosen up just a little bit. He seems to have saved all the shitty ass jobs around the bar for me to do. I miss you baby. I guess I'll talk to you later."_

_"Hey Bella. I saw Emmett and Jasper at the store earlier today. When they saw me, they turned and walked the other way. I deserved it but it fucking hurt. When I hurt you, I ruined every friendship I had made in this town. And in a way I am glad because it shows what great friends you have. They should treat me like shit. I'll call you tomorrow."_

Every other message went on like this. I would tell her shit that happened to me during the day or stuff I saw that reminded me of her. And lately I had really taken the whole creepy thing to a new level. On the nights I was off, I would walk down to the diner and sit across the street watching her in the dark. She looked like she had lost weight and she had gone back to her uniform from before I showed up. But she was still so fucking beautiful.

I watched her as she went through the motions, taking orders, pouring coffee, chatting with customers. Lately she had begun to linger at a certain table. The table that I had taken for my own, yet it wasn't me sitting there. It was a younger blonde guy who looked to be a fucking goody two shoes. I hated him already. She would stand at the table, talking with him, laughing at the things he was saying.

As I sat there tonight, I watched her talk to this fucker. I watched him stand up, hug her and kiss her gently on the cheek. She smiled back at him and gave him a small wave goodbye. It took everything I had not to go inside and punch the bastard straight in the jaw. But she deserved this; she deserved to be happy, even if it wasn't me that was making her laugh and smile.

After watching her a few more minutes, I stood up and walked the short distance back to the bar and up to my apartment. I pulled a beer from the fridge and sat down on the couch, pulling out my phone and calling her one last time.

_"Bella, it's Edward. I just wanted to call you one last time, hear your voice one last time. I know you're probably not even listening to these messages but I can't seem to help myself. Just hearing your voice for those few seconds each night means so much. I miss you baby. But I know I need to stop calling you. I just wanted to let you know that I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. I am so fucking sorry I hurt you. You deserve someone much better than me. So, yeah... goodbye Bella."_

I shut my phone and laid my head back against the couch. That was the first time I had ever said goodbye at the end of one of my messages. I felt like if I didn't say it to her there was still hope that maybe one day she would talk to me again, want to be with me again. But after seeing her tonight, I knew I needed to let that hope go. She was moving on, she was happy again.

But I still couldn't bring myself to stop watching her. I still wanted her to be a part of my life, even if she had no idea she was.

**A/N: So, I decided that since I hadn't made any recc's lately that I would give you a list of a few things I am reading right now. **

**Chancing Fate by JMCullen09**

**Clockwork by Derdriu oFaolain**

**A Pound of Flesh by jaxon22**

**Paper CutOuts by twistedcoincidence**

**Chemical Reaction by ladauphine**

**Dead On My Feet by Cesca Marie**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Since my regular beta has still been bogged down with RL stuff, thank you again to Juliegirl18 for stepping in for me.**

_"**You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved,**_

_** and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."**_

_**Anonymous**_

"Hey man," I said, walking from behind the bar to talk to Jake, "do you need me to do anything else before I leave for the night?" Jake's dad had been doing a little better in the past couple of weeks, so I didn't have to close every night. And his mood seemed to improve a bit since he was no longer giving me all the shitty jobs in the bar, just most of them.

"Nah man, you can head on out. Seth and I have it covered." I nodded my head and walked out the front door, turning to the left to head to the diner. It had been a couple weeks since my last phone call to Bella. It was hard to keep from dialing her number just to hear her voice, but I had resisted. What I hadn't stopped doing was watching her almost every night. I had become a creepy fucking stalker but I couldn't bring myself to stop. Just seeing glimpses of her was enough for me, even if she was talking and laughing with the preppy fucker.

I stuck my hands in my pockets and continued walking down the sidewalk. As I walked away, I noticed the same black sedan pull in and park in the far corner of the lot where it had been almost daily. I was almost tempted to go over and knock on the fucker's window and see what the fuck the deal was, but I didn't need to get into any kind of trouble tonight.

Suddenly, a loud siren went off as the towns only fire truck blew past me speeding down Main Street. I looked ahead to see if I could spot where the truck was headed and saw the black smoke rising in the sky. I picked up my pace a little bit and was pretty much jogging down the street. As I got closer I realized the smoke was coming from the diner. I started running as fast as I could towards the establishment, cursing the cigarettes I had picked back up as I fought to breathe.

Lots of people were gathered around outside the place, looking at the bright orange flames that were shooting through the front windows. I looked around to see if I could spot Bella but she was no where to be found. Hopefully she wasn't working tonight but something in my gut told me she was. There seemed to be very few customers inside when the fire broke out but I did spot Sue, one of the other waitresses, standing off to the side of the police line.

"Sue," I said, walking up to her and placing my hand on her arm, "where's Bella? Was she working tonight? Was she off?" Sue looked at me, confused for a moment, and then began darting her eyes back and forth across the crowd that had now gathered. I grabbed her shoulders and made her look me in the eyes.

"Sue, where is she?" I said, panic rising in my voice. If Bella was still in that burning inferno, someone needed to go inside and save her.

"I don't know. I thought she had gotten out before me. I haven't seen her. Oh god..." she trailed off. As Sue continued to ramble on, I looked across the parking lot and saw Bella's truck parked at the far end. Knowing she was still inside, I jumped over the police barricade and hauled ass towards the burning building.

"Stop! You can't go in there! Wait!" I heard numerous voices shout from behind me, but I didn't care. If Bella was still caught inside I had to get her out.

I ran through the alley on the side of the diner and came to the back door. Ramming my shoulder into the door several times, it finally swung open and thick black smoke bellowed out. I pulled my arm up to cover my mouth and nose as best I could and ran inside the room.

"Bella!" I called out, hoping she was just disoriented from the smoke. I continued to scream her name out but was over come with smoke and had to drop to my knees.

"Bella, baby! Can you hear me?" I shouted again as I crawled across the floor. I couldn't see very well but I spotted what looked to be a shoe sticking out from behind one of the prep tables in the kitchen. I crawled over and reached out to grab it, noticing the familiar shoe right away. I crawled fully around the table and almost burst into tears when I saw her. Bella's head was bleeding badly and she was unconscious.

"Oh God," I said, pulling her tightly to me, "Baby, can you hear me? Please wake up, baby. God, Bella, I can't lose you now, not when I just found you. You can't leave me!" I stood up, pulling her tightly to my chest, trying to cover her nose so she wasn't continuously breathing in the smoke.

"You've gotta fight baby. Please, God please, don't take her. I'm so sorry for everything I did. Please, please give me a chance to make this right, " I chanted as I made my way as quickly as possible to the back door. I rushed outside into the fresh air, running through the alley to the front of the diner.

"Help! Somebody help her!" I screamed as some EMT's finally spotted us. One of them pulled her from my arms and laid her across a stretcher.

"She was unconscious when I got inside. Her head is bleeding and she won't wake up. You've gotta help her, please!" I practically screamed at them. I began to cough and couldn't catch my breath and one of the workers pulled me over to another waiting ambulance.

"No, I've gotta stay with her! I can't leave her!" I said, fighting against the arms pulling me. I suddenly felt so tired and helpless. The person pulled me over to another stretcher and pushed me to lie down.

"Come on, lets get you checked out and then I'll let you go back and see how she's doing," someone told me. I closed my eyes and nodded, letting the blackness take me.

**/CSA\\CSA/CSA\\**

I woke up completely disoriented, wondering where in the hell I was and how I got there. I glanced around the room and realized I was in a hospital and suddenly remembered what had happened. I sat up intending to go and find out about Bella when I was hit when a sudden wave of dizziness. I stilled myself and closed my eyes, waiting for the feeling to pass so I could get the hell out of this room.

"Oh, you're awake," an older woman replied as she pushed the curtain back that separated the small area I was in from the rest of the room. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, I'm fine. I need to find out about Bella, the girl I came in with. Where is she?" I asked the lady as she busied herself checking my pulse and other bull shit I didn't have time for.

"You mean Dr. Cullen's Bella? Oh, she's doing okay now," the nurse said, as she patted my thigh like that was going to appease my mind. I got off the bed and went to walk out of the room before I realized I had no idea where I needed to go to find Bella. I turned back around to ask the nurse where I could find Bella only to find her smirking at me.

"Third floor," she replied as she stepped into the next curtain to see another patient. I jogged from the room and ran up the stairs as quick as I could, not having time to wait for the elevator. I stopped at the nurses' station and asked which room I could find Bella in and they pointed me in the right direction.

As I neared her room, I saw the door swing open and Carlisle Cullen stepped out. I stopped dead in my tracks as he finally looked over and saw me. He walked slowly over to me, stopping directly in front of me.

"Edward," he said, as if he had been talking to me on a daily basis. He clearly hadn't forgotten me from before as I hoped he had.

"Umm, yeah...I was just going to go see how Bella's doing," I said, moving to walk around him. Before I could get away from him, I felt him grasp onto my shoulder and pull me back in front of him.

"Oh no, I don't fucking think so," he replied in a harsh whisper, "I am grateful that you were there tonight to save her, but you have no right to go in there and see her. You need to stay the hell away from her and my wife. You need to make it seem like you never even existed." I took a step away from him as I let his harsh words run through my mind. I knew I had no right to see Bella, but that didn't stop my need to see that she was okay.

"Michael," Carlisle said, talking to someone that had walked up behind me. I turned around and of course, it was the preppy fucker. "She'll be so happy to see you. She's been asking for you the entire time." The fucker walked around me as if I really didn't exist and walked into the room behind Carlisle.

"Mike," I heard her quiet voice reply as he stepped inside. At least I knew she was okay. I reluctantly left the hospital and made my way back to my apartment, letting Carlisle's words run through my head the entire time. He was right, I needed to make it seem like I had never existed and I planned to do just that. But I couldn't leave her here without some type of goodbye.

Once in my apartment, I sat down on the couch and wrote Bella a note. It was a coward's way out, but I knew after what Carlisle had said to me at the hospital there was no way he would let me talk to her face to face. I poured out my heart, telling her how sorry I was and how she changed my life. I put the note inside an envelope and made my way back to the Cullen's.

I parked my bike right in front of the steps and walked up to the porch. I wasn't prepared for the front door to swing open and find my mother staring back at me. I ran my hand through my hair nervously, wondering what on earth I was going to say to the woman standing before me.

"Carlisle wouldn't let me see Bella. I'm leaving town but I didn't want to leave her without telling her how sorry I was," I said, pulling the envelope from my pocket. "Could you give this to her, please? I understand if you won't, but..."

"Of course I will, Edward," she said quietly. She took the envelope from my hand as I stood there awkwardly.

"Thanks," I said, jogging back to my bike before she had a chance to say anything else. I wasn't really ready to talk to her yet and I wasn't sure if I would ever really be ready to.

A couple of hours later I finished taping up the last box that held what little belongings I had. I would need to ask Jake if I could keep the things here in the apartment until I could find a way to ship them to where ever I ended up going. I knew damn well I couldn't go back to Chicago, back to where Ed was, but I had no idea where I would go. I was lost.

I stacked the boxes up against the wall so they wouldn't be in the way if someone moved in before I had a chance to get them. Grabbing the keys off the counter in the kitchen, I turned around to take one last look at the place I had called home for the past few months. I turned and pulled open the door, and walked downstairs to the bar. I was shocked when I almost ran into Bella, who looked to be making her way upstairs to my place.

"Bella," I whispered. She looked completely lost. Her eyes were red and puffy as if she had been crying and she had a huge bandage on her forehead from where she fell during the fire.

"EJ...Edward," she said, nervously biting her lip, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Not being able to find the words at the moment, I nodded my head and walked us over to a small table in the corner of the room.

"Edward," she said as she sat down, "I just wanted to come by and thank you for saving me last night." She looked down at her hands that were fidgeting with a napkin that was on the table. I reached across the table and grabbed her hand; she looked up at me, tears in her eyes.

"God Bella, you don't have to thank me for that. Anyone would have done it," I told her honestly. She smiled at me as a few tears fell from her eyes. She pulled her hand away from mine and used the napkin to wipe the tears from her face.

"Is it true? What you said in your letter about leaving?" she asked quietly. This is why I left a letter, I didn't want this confrontation. I didn't want to look in her eyes as I told her I was leaving town.

"Yeah," I said nodding my head, "I mean why would I stay here? Jake's dad is doing better so he doesn't need me around anymore. Besides, no one really wants me here, Bella."

"What if I want you here?" she whispered looking up at me, "I want to be friends Edward. Look, I know you did some pretty fucked up things and I'm not completely over it, but I want to get to know you, the real you." I shook my head and looked down at the table.

"Bella, it would be better if we weren't friends. Just because I played hero last night doesn't mean that I'm not a bad guy."

"I know what you're trying to put off. You're trying to make everyone think you are some horrible guy, but you're not. I have caught glimpses of the real you over the past few months."

"Bella, I was acting the part." She stood up from the table, shaking her head.

"I don't believe you," she said. Before I had a chance to respond, Mike was walking over, big fucking smile on his face. _Fucker._

"Babe, you ready to go?" he asked, putting his arm around her waist. I had to fight the urge to stand up and punch the asshole right in his face.

"Sure," she said, smiling at him. They walked away from me but Bella paused one last time and turned around to face me again.

"And Edward," she said, smiling sadly at me, "I listened to every message."

I sat back down at the table as I watched them walk out of the bar, hand in hand. Suddenly, I wasn't so sure I was ready to leave Forks.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**A/N: Just in case you guys missed it, there was an outtake posted under a different story title on my profile. It was Bella's POV of the previous chapter. So, check that out if you haven't had a chance yet. **

**Thanks to juliegirl18 for beta'ing for me. You are awesome! **

**A/N: *WARNING* This chapter contains some graphic detail of abuse. If you don't think you can handle it, please don't read any further.**__

_**"A friend is someone who understands your past,**_

_**believes in your future, and accepts**_

_**you just the way you are."**_

_**Unknown**_

The past few months had been a little weird, yet I wouldn't trade them for anything. Bella and I had been talking everyday, even though she's still seeing that fucker Mike. I said I wanted her in my life in any way possible and I meant that. But I still can't stomach the thought of actually seeing her with him all the fucking time, which I do.

Every time Bella and I had hung out, Mike had been there. It was like he didn't trust me, which I couldn't really blame him for. To have the girl you're dating wanting to spend time with her ex... yeah, something just wasn't right about that. But I could honestly say that I had done nothing wrong. I was able to freely spend time with Bella, and I was bound and determined to do nothing to fuck that up.

Today we were doing the whole friend thing, only this time we would be alone. Mike was working all weekend, and I figured Bella wouldn't want to spend any time together since it seemed like she avoided being alone with me. You could say I was surprised when she called last night, asking if I was off today and requesting to spend some time with me. Of course I jumped at the chance.

I nervously paced the small picnic area at the park while waiting for Bella to arrive. I had offered to go by her house to pick her up, but she said she would meet me here. Carlisle was still upset that Bella had let me back into her life, no matter what capacity it was. He was Team Mike all the way and I couldn't deny that it pissed me off. I was trying to change but it was fucking hard. I continuously apologized to Bella for what I had done to her and she said she forgave me, but that didn't stop me from trying to show her I was a different guy than the one that showed up here six months ago.

Bella had been casually throwing hints around that I needed to talk to Esme. I knew that I needed to, but letting go of the past seemed to be the hardest part of changing. I understood that there was probably a lot more to the story that my father and grandmother fed me my whole life, but I wasn't sure I was ready to hear it yet.

I heard a door shut and turned around to see Bella making her way towards me. She pulled her coat around her as the wind whipped her hair around her face.

"Hey beautiful," I said, pushing her hair from in front of her face and laughing. She laughed along with me and tried straighten out the damage the wind had done.

"Yeah, maybe I should have worn my hair up or something," she said as I grabbed her hand walking towards the park. At first, I was a little worried as to how I should act around Bella. I knew that I was still extremely attracted to her, but I also knew that she was with Mike and I could do nothing about it. This didn't stop me from showing her how much I cared about her though, so I continued to be myself around her, minus the grabbing her and kissing her all the fucking time... for now.

"I think you look just fine the way you are," I said, winking at her and placing a kiss on the back of her hand. She blushed and smiled back at me shyly. We walked hand in hand towards the swings and both took a seat in one. We sat in silence for a few minutes, swinging slowly back and forth. I glanced toward Bella and noticed she was nibbling at her bottom lip, something she does when she is nervous or thinking about something. She slowed down her swing until she was just pushing herself with her feet firmly placed on the ground.

"Edward," she said quietly, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure. You know you can ask me anything." That was one thing I had promised Bella once we became "friends." I told her no matter what, that I would never lie to her again.

"Remember that day we walked down to the docks?" I stopped swinging suddenly and turned to face her.

"Yeah, I remember," I told her honestly. It was the day she witnessed my panic attack. I couldn't forget it even if I tried.

"You acted like you were afraid to go near the water. You said it had something to do with your past, your dad. Can you tell me about your dad, Edward?"

I let out a shuddering breath and stood up from the swing, facing away from her. I knew this conversation would come up eventually and I knew I would have to tell her about my past, but I wasn't sure I was ready.

"It's okay, Edward. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I understand," she told me, as she stood beside me placing her hand on my arm. I grasped her hand in mine and walked us back over to the picnic tables near the parking lot. We both sat down in silence for a few moments as I tried to gather the thoughts in my head.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, Bella. It's just that I've never told anyone any of this shit. I've had a very fucked up life and it's hard to let anyone into it," I said, pulling my hand through my hair in frustration.

"It's okay, I understand. If you're not ready yet, no rush. I just want you to know that I'm here for you when you are," she said, kissing me gently on the cheek. I smiled lightly at her and ran my fingers across the top of the hand I was still clasping tightly to.

"My father and I lived with my grandmother, Elizabeth. She spoiled me, got me anything I wanted and I loved her so much. She died when I was ten years old. That's when it all started. I've always had a feeling that it would have been a lot worse had she not been around. I think she was protecting me in her own way. So once she died, it was like he unleashed all his fury on me, the ten year old little shit who he thought fucked up his whole life."

"He would always try to beat me and not leave marks. He was too smart for that shit. He knew though that if he did leave marks, they could easily be blamed on childhood clumsiness. When some teachers at school started to get too nosey he decided on water." I swallowed deeply and laid my head on my arm on the table in front of me. Bella still held tightly to one hand as she ran the other up and down my back soothingly.

"When I did something wrong, hell, I didn't even have to do anything wrong -it was pretty much anytime he fucking felt like it- he would drag me into the bathroom and make me run a bathtub full of cold water. He'd start yelling at me, cursing at me about shit I knew nothing about half the time. Then he would hold my head under water. He'd pull me up and let me take a deep breath and then push my head back under, every time holding it there just a little longer. I can't tell you how many times I passed out from not being able to breathe. He did this shit to me for years. I finally got old enough to fight back, but he still made me feel like shit. He would talk down to me, tell me I wasn't worth a fuck, tell me I ruined his life. After a while, I started to believe him."

"What kind of mother leaves her kid with a man like that, Bella? Was I not fucking good enough for her? Did she think I deserved it? Does she even know what I went through pretty much my entire life?" I rolled my head over and faced Bella. Lifting my head, I cupped her cheek with my free hand and wiped the tears from her cheeks. We held each others gaze for a little bit before I started slowly leaning towards her. I could feel her warm breath on my lips as I inched closer and closer. Deciding she would have stopped me if she didn't want it, I finally pressed my lips to hers. God, I fucking missed kissing her. Slowly pulling away from her, I smiled sadly.

"Thank you for listening," I told her as I lowered my hand from her cheek. I was honestly surprised that she hadn't pushed me away when I went to kiss her. Maybe Bella hadn't completely written off a relationship with me even though she was dating Mike.

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I know you don't want to hear this Edward, but I really think you should speak with Esme. Like you said before, maybe you weren't told the whole story. I am sure she knew nothing about how your father was treating you." I nodded my head at what she was saying as we stood up from the table.

"I know, I know. I'll try to stop by later this week. You'll have to let me know when Carlisle isn't at home, because God knows that guy still doesn't like me," I said, laughing a bit.

"Okay, just let me know." We walked quietly hand in hand back towards our cars.

"So, what else do you have planned for this weekend?" I asked her, hoping it included me.

"Not much. You wanna meet up for lunch tomorrow?"

I looked over at her and smiled widely and nodded my head. Opening her door and letting her inside, I shut it gently behind her. I leaned through the open window and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. I was able to kiss her on the lips earlier, but I wasn't about to press my luck quite yet.

"See ya tomorrow, beautiful." After watching Bella drive off, I turned toward my bike and noticed the same fucking black sedan parked on the curb in front of the park. I stalked toward the car, intent on finding out what the fucking deal with this creep was. Noticing I was coming towards it, the driver fired up the engine and peeled away from the curb.

**\CSA/CSA\\CSA/**

We walked into the Italian restaurant and were ushered to a table in the center of the room. It was pretty busy since it was a weekend so seating arrangements were scarce. I pulled Bella's chair out for her and walked around to the other side of the table and took a seat.

"So, what's good here? I haven't had a chance to eat here since I am a little partial to the diner," I said, smirking at her from over my menu. She smiled shyly at me as she opened up her menu.

"I have always been a fan of their mushroom ravioli, but I have also heard their lasagna is awesome."

"Why don't we just get both and then we can split them and have a little of both?" She nods her head enthusiastically and we both lay our menus back down on the table. We place our order with the waitress and talk for a little while about the week we've each had. Bella was telling me about something some old guy did at the diner the other day when someone coming through the door catches my eye. Since Bella was facing away from the front of the restaurant, she wasn't seeing what I was.

Mike just walked in and on his arm is some brunette, who is definitely not Bella seeing as she is right in front of me. I can still hear Bella talking, but my attention remains on the couple that just walked in. He leans over and whispers something in her ear and she giggles. Mike starts looking around the room and suddenly his eyes fall on mine. They open wide, but not as wide as they do when he notices who is with me. I raise my hand up and wave at him, smirking at him the entire time.

"You aren't even listening to me, are you? Who are you waving at?" Bella asks before she turns around and spots Mike. The waitress leads the two of them over to the only other empty table in the place, which happens to be right next to us. Bella's forehead is wrinkled as if she is trying to figure out a major puzzle.

"Bella," Mike says as he leans over and places a kiss on top of her head. "Jessica and I wanted to get out of the office for a bit, so we decided on a working lunch." Bella nodded her head and looked at me. I raised my eyebrows at her and she shrugged her shoulders in response. The two of them quickly decide on what to eat and place their order. I immediately decided to fuck around with Mike a bit seeing as I didn't like him one bit.

"If this is a working lunch, where the hell is the actual work?" I ask, looking around at everyone and noticing they each have very different emotions on their faces.

Mike looked scared shitless. He didn't think I was any competition and didn't think that I would call him on his shit. I just proved that fucker wrong with one simple question. Jessica looked pissed off. She kept narrowing her eyes while looking at Bella. And Bella looked confused. She kept darting her eyes between Mike and Jessica, waiting for an answer to my question.

"Oh, I've got all the information we needed right here on my Blackberry," Jessica said, smiling as she waved her phone in front of us. Bella visibly looked relieved by this news.

I began to wonder if she had any doubts about her relationship with Mike and went into planning mode in the back of my mind. _You remember where your plans got you last time right?_ What a time to grow a conscience.

I decided quickly that I needed to let Bella figure out what a fucking scumbag Mike seemed to be on her own. I just needed to be here for her when he finally decided to let his true colors show. He and Jessica obviously didn't realize Bella and I would be here, and this was definitely not a working lunch.

An hour of disturbingly forced small talk, I walked Bella back to her truck. Mike and Jessica had already left to go back to the "office," so it was just us again.

"So, did you give anymore thought about talking to Esme?" She asked me shyly. I smirked at her knowing she would never give this up until I finally agreed to talk to the woman. So, I begrudgingly asked the question I needed to.

"What days and hours does Carlisle work this week?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**A/N: So, this chapter should answer a few questions for you guys. Thanks to JulieGirl18 for beta'ing for me. **

_**"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, **_

_**it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. **_

_**And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. **_

_**Right now."**_

_**Author Unknown**_

I stood on the porch wringing my hands together nervously. I couldn't believe I let Bella talk me in to this. I knew it needed to be done and I would have to face it sooner or later, but I was obviously hoping for later. I reached over and rang the door bell before I could change my mind and walk back down the stairs for probably the tenth time. _Okay, it's been a few seconds. She should have answered by now. She's probably not home, even though her fancy black Mercedes is parked in front of the garage. _

Before I could turn around and leave, the front door swung open and my mother stood there, confusion and shock evident on her face. To be honest, I was surprised she didn't look angry. I rocked back on the heels of my feet waiting for her to say something, anything.

"Edward," she whispered, her eyes already filling with tears. _Fucking hell. I knew this was going to be emotional, but I couldn't go and feel sorry for her now. _Clearing my throat, I decided that I should explain why I was here. She would probably listen to what I had to say and then kick me the hell off her property.

"Um, yeah. Bella's been trying to get me to come by and talk to you. She says I need to hear your side of all this shit, so I figured I would stop by." She nodded her head slowly and stepped aside so I could enter. To say I was shocked would be a huge understatement.

"Of course, please come in," she said as I walked past her into the house. She shut the door behind us as we both stood in the foyer awkwardly. I scratched the back of my neck and looked around, trying to make sure we were indeed alone. Bella had told me that Carlisle would be working today, but I needed some type of confirmation. Esme must have noticed my dilemma because she quickly spoke up.

"Carlisle isn't here. He should be working until late tonight." I nodded my head and tried to control my shaking nerves. She walked in front of me and toward the living room.

"Why don't we have a seat in here? I'm sure you have plenty of questions for me." I walked behind her and sat at the opposite end of the couch where she sat. She couldn't have been more wrong.

"Honestly, I really have only one question for you. Why?" I looked over at where she sat and noticed that she had pulled a picture album into her lap.

"Edward, I will answer that question, but first, I think I need to tell you about me and your father. I just think it might give some perspective on the whole story." I nodded my head and motioned for her to continue.

"I met Ed when I was very young and very naive. He was on a business trip here in Forks and I fell in love instantly; well I should say that I thought I was in love. He was the perfect gentleman, doting on me, buying me expensive things. I had never really had anyone like that in my life before. Your grandmother, Elizabeth, wasn't very pleased with our relationship, although she tried very hard to hide it. She never put me down to my face, but I wasn't stupid. I knew she didn't care for me. When I got pregnant with you, she convinced me to move with them to California. I figured she had changed since I was carrying her grandchild. No one in my family knew about my relationship with Ed or the fact that I was pregnant. Being a senior in high school, I was able to pass off my moving to another state by saying that I was going to college."

"The first few months of your life I was with you every moment. I loved you so much. We were all one big happy family, or so I thought. When you were around six months old, Elizabeth convinced me to go to college. She said that she didn't want me to end up like her and not be able to support myself should something happen to her son. I agreed, accepting the partial scholarship that I had received to go to a college closer to home. Elizabeth agreed to cover the rest of the costs. She wanted me to live in the dorms, so she said that I could leave you with her and Ed and that there would be plenty of people to watch after you. I could come home every weekend and see you, call anytime I want. It all seemed perfect... too perfect."

"I came home to visit every weekend and missed you like crazy during the week. I would call and talk to Ed and Elizabeth and cry, saying that I wanted to come home. She told me to stick it out and if at the end of the semester if I still felt the same way, I should return home. The weekend before finals I wasn't able to come home or call seeing as I had so much studying to do. Once finals were done, I headed back to my dorm, ready to pack my things up to go home and see you. Before I could leave, I was contacted by the financial office at the college saying that my tuition fees had not been paid and that I needed to vacate the dorm. I was confused and tried to call both Ed and Elizabeth. All the numbers I had for them had been disconnected. I immediately drove home to find out what was going on."

"When I finally pulled into the driveway of the home we lived in in California I noticed that it was very quiet. Neither Ed nor Elizabeth's cars were in the driveway, so I became worried. I rushed inside the house and found it completely empty. Nothing was left. I called every number I had for both of them again with no answers. I was heartbroken. They had taken you and I had no way to find you. They had all the money in the world in my eyes and they would easily be able to hide from me. I realized I knew nothing about them. I searched for you for months and months, alone. I never told anyone about you. I somehow convinced myself that you were better off with them. They could provide you with things I never could."

Esme had tears running down her cheeks at a steady pace now as she flipped through the pages of the picture album in front of her. The pictures showed me as a baby, with both Ed and Esme. They... he looked happy. What the fuck had happened? I couldn't believe that they had just run off with me. I had always blamed it on my mother, when all along it seemed that it was entirely my grandmother's fault.

"Yeah, I was really a lot fucking better off with that mother fucker," I said sarcastically. Esme looked up at me with sadness in her tear filled eyes.

"My boy, what did they do to you?" she whispered, reaching out to touch me. I looked at her, anger flashing in my eyes.

"What did they do to me? First off, they did nothing to me! It was him, all him. When she died, I wish she would have taken me with her because that would have been a hell of a lot better than what he put me through. Do you have any idea how it feels to know your father hates you? To have him degrade you with every breath he takes? To have him try to drown you almost nightly in a fucking bath tub? When I look at those pictures you have, it makes me fucking angry to see him happy! Why couldn't he be like that with me? What did I ever fucking do to him?" I screamed, standing up and angrily running my hands through my hair. I felt the tears well up in my eyes and refused to let her see me cry. No one had ever seen me cry and I refused to let it be her.

"I can't do this now. I need to go," I told her, rushing towards the front door before she could even make a move to stop me. I hopped on my bike and sped off toward the bar. Rushing inside and ignoring all the people trying to talk to me, I flew up the stairs to my apartment. I just needed to be alone. I still had tears in my eyes but refused to let them fall until I was all alone. I swung open the door to my apartment and rushed inside, slamming it behind me. Turning around, I leaned my forehead up against the wood of the door, breathing deeply and trying to control what I was feeling.

"Edward?" I heard her softly say from somewhere behind me. I quickly turned around and found Bella standing in the doorway, sadness written all over her face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her in confusion. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled slightly.

"I knew you were seeing Esme today and I just figured you might need me," she said quietly. I rushed over to her and pulled her into my arms, hugging her tightly to my body. I breathed in her scent, hoping it would calm me down some. The entire ride home I thought I wanted to be alone, but all along I just wanted Bella. My Bella.

I walked us into the living room, not releasing her from my grip the entire time. I sat down and placed her in my lap, still hugging her for dear life.

"Thank you so much for being here for me, baby. I don't know what I would do without you," I said, finally letting the tears fall down my face. She pulled away from me, pulling my face between her hands.

"Oh, Edward," she said, "I'll always be here for you." Leaning forward, she kissed me while tears flowed down both our faces. I pulled away from her to hug her tightly to me again. We sat on the couch for what could have been minutes or hours until both of us were pretty much cried out. She laid her head on my shoulder and ran lazy patterns across my chest with her fingers.

"What happened, Edward?" she whispered. I closed my eyes, sighing heavily.

"What I was told my whole life was a lie. Fuck. She didn't leave me, Bella. They took me. My father and grandmother took me from her. Yeah, she could have fought a little harder for me and looked a little harder for me, but she was right. They had the fucking money to hide me away and it looks like that is what they fucking did. My whole life I hated my mother and had my grandmother on some kind of fucking pedestal, when the entire time it should have been her I hated. What it all boils down to is they fucking took me from her." Bella looked at me with nothing but shock written across her face.

"Oh my God. How on earth could someone do that? What else did Esme say? Has she ever spoken to your father again? What about your grandmother?" Bella was spitting out questions at a rapid fire pace and all I wanted to do was sit here and hold her.

"I don't know. We kinda didn't get that far. I had to rush out of there before I blew up." Bella looked at me, cocking her head to the side with one eyebrow raised. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I need to talk to her more. I get it. I will soon, just not right now. That was a lot of shit to take in for one afternoon."

Bella smiled at me and nodded her head before trying to stand up. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her in my lap. She turned to look at me, and I cupped my hand around her cheek. I leaned forward and placed a slow, sweet, yet completely passionate kiss on her lips. Pulling away from her, we both had smiles on our faces.

"Thank you for being here for me today," I told her as she placed her head back down on my chest. I knew Bella was still with Mike and how much I hated that fact. But right now, she's here with me and that's all that matters. For now.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: In case you missed it, there was an alternate POV/outtake posted on the companion story that featured Elizabeth's POV of the events Esme spoke of in the previous chapter.**

**Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing for me. Love you girlie!**

_**"It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward."**_

_**Chinese Proverb**_

"Bella, are you sure they won't mind? I mean, I'm not their favorite person in the world right now, ya know?" Bella had called this morning and asked me to hang out with her and the girls along with Emmett and Jasper. None of them had spoken to me since Esme's birthday party and I couldn't very well blame them. I had fucked up and apologized to Bella almost every day since then, even after she told me she forgave me.

"It'll be alright, Edward. I told them you would be there tonight and while they weren't very happy about it, I told them to suck it up because I wanted you there," she said, laughing a bit at the end. I could imagine the looks on their faces when Bella told them I was hanging with them. She told me they had all but cursed her out and asked her if she was insane when she told them she had forgiven me and we were trying to be friends. The girls and Jasper, she said, were a little more understanding, but Emmett was a whole other story. He still wanted to kick my ass and based on the beating he gave me that night, I wasn't so sure I could stop him if I wanted to.

"I don't know. I really don't feel like having my ass kicked tonight," I said, trying to show amusement but not really feeling any.

"I talked to him, Edward. Emmett said he would behave. Besides, I really don't want to feel like the fifth wheel tonight. With Mike being out of town working I would be all alone without you there. You don't want me all alone do you, Edward?" I could practically see her biting her lip and flashing those sad brown eyes at me through the phone.

"Fine, but if I get my ass kicked you're playing nurse maid." We both laughed for a bit and then agreed that I would meet them downstairs in the bar around seven.

I was still positive that Mike was a cheating fucker but I had yet to find any definite proof. Not that I could do anything about it. If I brought this up to Bella, she would probably think that I was being a jealous asshole and that would just serve to push her further into his arms. I needed to let Bella figure out her life on her own. All I could do was be here for her when it all fell apart.

**/CSA\\CSA/CSA\\**

I walked downstairs around seven thirty to find everyone had already arrived. I had almost decided to not come down in fear of an ass kicking, but figured Bella would have come up eventually to drag me down here. When she spotted me, Bella came over swiftly, hugging me tightly.

"Had to talk yourself into coming down, huh?" she whispered in my ear. I pulled back from her and nodded while she laughed. She took my hand in hers and led me over to the table where the others were sitting. I smiled at everyone and they all smiled back at me, but no one spoke. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Alice stood up from the other side of the table and walked over to me.

"Hello. I'm Alice, Bella's best friend," she said, holding her hand out for me to shake it. I looked at her completely confused but still shook her hand.

"Umm, okay," I said laughing. Everyone else looked just as confused as I did so I wasn't alone.

"Alice, what the fuck are you doing? I think he already knows who you are," Emmett said angrily. Alice looked over at me and smiled once she had already taken her seat again.

"I know he knows who I am. But since he wanted to make a new start I figured I would help him out. Besides, I have never been introduced to Edward, only E.J.," she told him confidently. Everyone at the table agreed and went around introducing themselves to me again. Honestly, it felt great that they were giving me another chance. I couldn't blame them if they hated me forever for what I did to Bella, but they were willing and so was I.

"Look man. I still fucking hate what you did to her, but if she trusts you again who am I to stand in her way? But you remember that ass kicking I gave you?" Emmett asked me and I nodded my head, swallowing hard. "That wasn't shit compared to what I'll do if you hurt her again."

After several rounds of shots and a few beers a piece, it was very evident that the girls were slightly tipsy. Rose and Alice had drug Bella to the middle of the floor a few minutes ago and were currently grinding all over one another to some song. I tried to adjust myself under the table discreetly but smirked when I noticed Emmett and Jasper having to do the same thing.

A few minutes later the girls stumbled over to the bar and ordered another round of frilly, girly drinks and made their way back to the table. Before Bella could make it to her seat, she stumbled over her own feet, bumping into Rose and causing Alice, who was behind her, to dump her drink all over Bella's back.

"Oh, that's so cold," Bella squealed as she stood beside me. I couldn't help but laugh at her as she danced around trying to free the ice from down the back of her dress.

"Edward, do you think I could go upstairs and clean up a little bit?" she asked me. I nodded and threaded her arm through mine. Alice and Rose had all but passed out leaning on Jasper and Emmett in the span of just a few moments.

"I think I'm gonna go ahead and take this one home," Emmett said, nodding at Rose who was swaying back and forth.

"Yeah me too," Jasper said, "you can make sure she gets home alright can't you, Edward?"

"Yeah, sure. You know I will. See you guys later," I told them as I headed to the door leading to the stairs. The cold drink spilled over Bella must have sobered her up a bit because she didn't seem quite as tipsy as she had earlier. Opening the door to my apartment, I ushered Bella inside and locked the door behind us. I usually didn't like to leave it unlocked while the bar was open because I wasn't sure some drunk ass wouldn't come stumbling up here looking for a damn bathroom or something.

"So, you know where the bathroom is. Why don't you go ahead and get cleaned up and I'll grab us a couple drinks?" She nodded her head and whispered okay as she made her way to the bathroom down the hall. I grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge, placing them on the small side table in the living room. I slipped off the button up I had put on before going down stairs which left me wearing the t-shirt I had put on underneath it.

I took a long swig of my beer and leaned back on the couch, closing my eyes and relaxing for a bit. I didn't know how long I sat there, but a throat clearing in the room made me open my eyes.

_Holy fuck._

Bella was standing in the doorway of my living room wearing my shirt. She was wearing nothing but my shirt. I don't know whether I was praying that she was wearing panties under that shirt or praying that she wasn't. I let my eyes trail all the way up her long, creamy legs, until my eyes finally met hers. She was smiling shyly and nibbling on her bottom lip in the way that would succeed in making me rock hard if only I wasn't already by just the site of her in only my shirt.

"I found this in the bathroom. I hope you don't mind, but my dress was entirely too wet and uncomfortable to put back on," she said as she walked over and sat down beside me on the couch.

"Believe me, I have no problem with what you're wearing right now," I said before downing what was left of my beer. I closed my eyes and tried to gain some control, but all was lost when I heard Bella moan from beside me. I opened my eyes widely and looked over to her; she had her eyes closed and licked her lips after just downing almost the entire beer I had gotten for her.

"Holy shit," I mumbled to myself and ran my hands through my hair roughly. I had to gain some control before I threw Bella down on the couch and fucked her into oblivion before I even realized it. I stood up quickly and walked over to where my guitar was standing.

"Oh, are you gonna play for me? You know, you never got around to doing that," she said as she twirled a piece of hair around her finger. I had no idea if Bella knew she was being so damn sexy or if she was just acting under the influence.

"Yeah, sure," I agreed. "Why don't we play a little game. I'll play a little bit of a song and you guess what it is, okay?" Bella squealed a little bit and clapped her hands in a fashion that definitely told me she had been hanging around Alice a little too much lately. I picked up my guitar and sat down at the end of the couch. Bella turned her body and faced me, flashing me what was underneath my shirt and yes, thankfully she was wearing panties. I shook my head trying to clear it as I strummed the guitar a few times.

"What's that? I don't know that one?" Bella said in all seriousness. I laughed and shook my head.

"Patience woman. I was just getting the feel for it. I haven't even started yet." She stuck her tongue out at me and I did the same. I tried to think of an easy song to play for her that she would get. I smiled widely and began to play the song.

"Oh!" she screamed. "I know that one! Sweet Home Alabama!" I laughed and nodded my head and she did a quick fist-pump, excited that she had gotten it right. I began to play the next song and was only able to get a few notes out before she was screaming out the answer again.

"Enter Sandman!" she squealed and I cocked my eyebrow at her, wondering how she knew that one so quickly.

"What? My dad was a big fan of Metallica," she said laughing. I was glad thinking about her father hadn't brought her mood down but had made her smile at the memory. I chose another Metallica song for her figuring she would definitely know this one.

"Edward, really? The Unforgiven. Come on, give me something a little challenging," she said, folding her arms across her chest. This did nothing but raise the shirt from her thighs and gave me more than a glimpse at the little panties she was wearing. It was putting them on full display. I forced my eyes down to my fingers on the strings and racked my brain for a song that might stump her. As I played the song, Bella nibbled her lip and tilted her head sideways trying to figure it out.

"I know I know this one, I just can't remember the name of it. It's really beautiful, I know that much," she said as I continued to play.

"It's Angel Eyes by Jeff Healey," I told her as I ended the impromptu game. I went to put the guitar away, but Bella moved over beside me. She laid a hand on my knee and smiled at me.

"Do you think you could teach me how to play? I mean, I know I won't be as good as you, but could you?" I raised my eyebrows at her trying to figure out if she was serious.

"Really? Right now?" I asked her and she nodded her head. I slid completely back on the couch and Bella sat perched in between my spread legs. I was silently willing my dick to stay calm, but when Bella leaned back into me there was no stopping the moan that escaped my mouth. Bella ignored my response, thankfully, and settled in front of me. I placed the guitar in her hands and wrapped my arms around her, showing her where to place her fingers on the strings.

"This one goes here, and this one here," I whispered to her while placing her fingers in the right positions. I brushed her hair to the side so I could see where I was placing her fingers, but not before breathing in deeply a smell that could only be described as delicious. Before I could lean back Bella had turned her head towards me and kissed me gently. We both pulled away, already breathing heavily just from the feeling of being this close to one another again.

Suddenly we were kissing again and I reached around her and grabbed my guitar, placing it on the floor before it fell and broke her from this spell that she was under. Once the guitar was no longer in her lap, Bella turned around and straddled my lap, not breaking the kiss for a second. She reached down between us and grabbed the hem of my shirt and we broke away only long enough for me to pull it off and toss it across the room.

I grabbed her face between my hands and pulled her to me in another heated kiss. She was grinding all over my cock and I was afraid I was gonna come in my pants soon if she kept it up. Bella's hands went up to my hair and pulled on it a little roughly, and I moved my mouth to her neck, biting down slightly. She moaned and continued to grind against me as I moved to kiss along her chest while I slowly unbuttoned the shirt and pulled it open. _Holy fuck, she isn't wearing a bra._

I bent down and gently flicked one of her nipples with my tongue while my fingers lightly pinched the other.

"Fuck, Edward. God that feels so good," she moaned as she continued grinding her pussy in my lap. I pulled her nipple into my mouth and slowly ran my hand across her lower stomach, making my way to the edge of those oh so small panties she was currently wearing.

Suddenly the sounds of our moaning and breathing were interrupted by the shrill ringing of a phone. Bella pulled away from me and widened her eyes. _No, no, no. Stay with me baby. Don't do this._

"Oh God, Edward. I am so sorry. I can't do this. I won't do this to him," she said, tears building up in her eyes. I stood up beside her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"It's okay, baby. I understand," I whispered to her. _Even though I am almost completely sure the fucker is probably doing the same thing to you, I can't let you feel bad about this._

"I should probably go now," she said, trying to gather her things and moving towards the door.

"No. You are in no condition to drive. You can stay here. I'll sleep on the couch and you can have the bed. I'm just gonna go change while you find out who that was calling you," I said, placing another kiss on her forehead. She nodded her head at me before I headed to the shower to take care of my "situation".

I walked back into the living room after taking a shower and putting on some pajama pants to find Bella curled up into a ball on the couch, fast asleep. I bent down and picked her up gently, carrying her back to my bedroom. I placed her down in the bed and pulled the covers up around her. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I brushed a stray hair out of her face. She was so beautiful while she slept. Not that she wasn't always, it's just that she looked so peaceful, not a worry in the world. I bent down and placed a gentle, sweet kiss on her puckered lips.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered to her, daring to finally say out loud the words that I had been saying in my thoughts for months now.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing for me. **

_**"Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you fromcrying is exactly the one making you cry?"Anonymous**_

I was afraid things between Bella and I would be extremely weird after the impromptu make-out session in my apartment that night, but thankfully it wasn't. We had lots of time to hang out since Mike had taken several more "business trips." Bella came over almost every day when she got off work and I loved it. Even if I had to work downstairs, she hung out with me until I was done. Then we would go upstairs, order some take-out and watch movies until one of us passed out- usually Bella.

She hadn't stayed the night again, but not from my lack of trying to get her Mike's repeated absences, Bella and I had gotten a lot closer and I couldn't be happier. We shared stolen touches and kisses often, and I really thought that perhaps we were moving toward being together again. Although she was still technically dating Mike, I couldn't help but hold out hope for the time when she would be mine again. One moment in particular we shared in my apartment made me smile like a damn fool whenever I thought about it. 

_Bella was standing at the sink washing the dishes from our meal. She moved her hips in time with the music from the iPod playing in the living room. I walked up behind her, placing my hands on her waist, and leaned in to place a quick kiss on her neck. She turned around, smiling at me while she dried her hands on the towel. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. She just looked so right, standing here in my apartment, like she belonged here. With me. _

_"What's got you all smiley?" she asked, tossing the towel back on the counter and walking toward me. I shook my head and pulled her to me._

_"Nothing. Just being here with you makes me happy," I told her, placing a quick kiss on her lips. _

_"Being with you makes me happy too," she whispered as she hugged me tightly._

I was so afraid that I was pushing Bella too much by sharing my feelings with her while she was still in a relationship, but she made no move to stop my advances so I continued. I hadn't actually told Bella that I loved her since whispering it to her that night, but I tried my best to show her with my actions. Which leads to why I was currently covered in flour in my kitchen and possibly every dish I owned was dirty. Bella had agreed to come over tonight for dinner and I had decided rather than the usual takeout, I would cook her something.

Not knowing what the hell I was doing in a kitchen and Bella being one of the only people I could ask made me thankful that she had pushed me to once again talk with Esme. Esme and I had started meeting a couple of times a week at a coffee shop in town. She shared stories with me about when I was a baby and I shared some of the more happy memories I had of growing up. We were building a relationship and I had Bella to thank for that. Carlisle still hated me from what I could tell, but Esme told me every time we met that she was working on him. I told her not to worry about it, but she said that if I was going to be in her life he was going to have to accept it.

I looked over the recipe Esme had written down for me one last time before finally putting the dish in the oven. I set the timer and decided that I should probably go ahead and get a shower before Bella showed up. Before I could make it into the bathroom, there was a knock at the door. I pulled the door open and was surprised to see Bella standing there.

"Hey baby," I said, taking her hand and pulling her inside. "You're a little early, so forgive the mess." I leaned down to kiss her, but she placed both hands on my chest to stop me. I looked at her confused for a moment and wondering why she was pushing me away.

"Edward, we should talk," she said, taking my hand and leading me into the living room. I was not an idiot and I knew that no good things had ever come after someone said those words. I ran through everything in my head that could possibly be wrong, but came up with nothing. We were doing so well so I was completely confused and I was sure my face showed it. Bella placed her things down on the couch and sat down.

"What's the matter Bella?" I asked, sitting down beside her and reaching for her hand. When she snatched her hand back before I had even made contact I knew something was up. I tried to hide the hurt from my face, but was sure I failed. Bella hadn't pulled away from me like that since the night of Esme's party. I hadn't done anything wrong that I knew of, so I waited for her to speak.

"We have to stop this Edward. I can't be dating Mike and be with you like this. It's wrong," she said, looking down at her hands folded in her lap. I slid over closer to her and lifted her chin with my finger, making her look me in the eyes.

"Then break up with him; be with me," I whispered. She shook her head and looked back down again.

"I can't Edward. I can't do that to him," she said, and slid further away from me. I was beginning to get angry and knew I needed to tone it down, but hearing Bella say that she couldn't hurt that fucker made me furious. I knew without a doubt all Mike was doing was hurting her without her knowing about it, but I still stood firm in the fact that Bella should figure that out on her own. I stood up from the couch and began pacing back and forth, running my hands through my hair.

"So what the fuck has this been then, Bella? You hug me and kiss me and tell me that I make you happy, but you can't _be_ with me?" I turned back around to face Bella and noticed that she was trying to hold back tears.

"It wasn't like that Edward..." she started, but I interrupted her.

"You can't tell me that you don't feel something when we're together!" I demanded as I raised my voice in anger.

"Of course I feel something!" she admitted, standing up in front of me.

"So what, Bella. Were you fucking leading me on? Kissing me and hanging with me. Was I just some fucking place warmer for you until Mike came back?"

"No Edward, it's not like that at all. Just give me time. I can't hurt him like this. He's been so good to me," she pleaded, finally letting the tears fall from her eyes. I began pacing again and at those words my anger peaked.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! Tell me you are not so god damn naive that you _actually_ believe that these so called 'business trips' are actually just that? Tell me you aren't stupid enough to not realize that Mike is fucking Jessica?" I yelled at her, finally sharing with her my thoughts on Mike. She let her mouth drop open in shock and I saw the sadness on her face turn to anger.

"Oh, and I guess you're so much better, right?" she screamed at me. "You come into town just to fuck me and ruin my fucking life. Well, congratulations, Edward! You got what you wanted!"

"Don't throw that bullshit back in my face now! You said you forgave me!" I could feel the anger pulsing through me and was afraid that I was going to do something beyond stupid if I didn't calm down soon.

"I do, Edward. At least I think I do. I have never been so fucking confused in my entire life! But I know that I can't hurt him like this anymore."

"So instead of me, you're going to choose to be with a guy that fucks another girl behind your back?" Bella walked over to me and slapped me before I could even think about stopping her.

"Shut up!" she yelled. "Mike is doing no such a thing. Just because you are so jealous of him doesn't mean you should go around spouting stupid bullshit. You have no idea what you're talking about. I can't believe that I ever thought about being with you again." I stood still in the middle of the room while Bella gathered her coat and purse and walked out. I was shocked to hear Bella say that she had even thought about being with me again. I knew I shouldn't have shared my thoughts on Mike and Jessica and I had probably ruined the only chance I had at Bella finally being mine again.

Hearing the timer go off in the kitchen, I walked in and removed the now unneeded meal from the oven. Realizing how much I had fucked up and letting the anger and sadness fill my thoughts, I began to tremble and tears filled my eyes. I knew I should have kept my fucking mouth shut about him, but hearing her stand up for the bastard egged me on.

"God dammit!" I screamed, flinging the dish across the room, splattering it across the wall. I slowly slid down the cabinets and sank to the floor, and let the tears finally fall.

**A/N: Stick with me people. Just keep chanting "She believes in HEA, She believes in HEA." Next chapter is already back from beta. I will send a small teaser with your review! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: After much pleading and begging, my faithful readers have persuaded me to go ahead and post this. Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing.**

_**"Love is like Heaven, but it hurts like hell."**_

_**Anonymous**_

I sat down on the couch in my apartment, guitar in my hand, and began strumming the beginning notes of a song. It had been a week since I had seen Bella. I begged everyone we knew to tell me how she was. Emmett and Jasper said they had no clue because they had rarely seen their girls, let alone mine. Rose and Alice told me to let her be, to leave her alone. I knew why she wanted me to leave her alone. I had acted like a complete ass the last time she saw me. I let my fingers slowly play out the song on my guitar as I remembered the last time I had seen her.

_After spending a few minutes on my kitchen floor crying my eyes out like the pussy that I had become, I began to get angry. Angry that she had the nerve to string me along like some fucking puppy while she continued to date Mike. Angry that she had thought about being with me again and had not spoken one word to me about it. Angry that she didn't want to hurt Mike, but didn't care that she was hurting me. Just fucking angry._

_ I opened up the freezer and saw that I was completely out of liquor. Lucky for me, I lived above a bar. Grabbing the keys to my apartment, I walked downstairs to find that the place seemed to be pretty damn busy. Walking behind the bar and ignoring Seth's questioning look, I grabbed a bottle of Jack and a shot glass and took a seat at one of the tables near the door._

_ After a few shots I finally began to feel numb, but I still couldn't forget the look on Bella's face when I told her about Mike. I knew I had fucked up when I told her about what he was clearly doing, but I couldn't stand by any longer and watch her get hurt. _

_A few minutes later, Tanya came and plopped her fucking ass right in my lap. I had been dodging her constantly in the past few weeks since she had decided to make it a mission to get in my pants. For some reason, the bitch couldn't get it in her fucking head that I wanted nothing to do with her._

_ "Hey there, Eddie," she said, running her hand up and down my chest. I wrinkled up my nose at the scent of her perfume, which was highly overwhelming. _

_"Don't call me Eddie," I growled at her, as she leaned in closer to me. _

_"Fine. What do you want me to call you? Sweetie? Honey? Lover?" she asked as she wiggled her ass in my lap. I groaned in frustration and figured I needed to do something to get this bitch off me and quick. I leaned in closer to her and she bent her head toward mine so I could whisper in her ear._

_"You wanna fuck me don't you?" I whispered in her ear, as she shivered. The bell above the door chimed and caught my attention. Still leaning in close to Tanya, I let my gaze fall to the door and was surprised at who I saw. Bella was standing there, her eyes wide as she finally caught a glimpse of me. Being the asshole that I was in my drunken state, I decided she needed to feel a little pain as well. Running my hand along Tanya's naked thigh, I pulled her head closer to mine so I could whisper in her ear. _

_"You've been dreaming about me fucking you, haven't you?" I whispered in her ear, even though my eyes had never left Bella's. As I continued to run my hand up and down Tanya's leg, I winked at Bella. Even from where I was standing, I could see the tears pooling in her eyes. She rushed back out of the door just as quickly as she entered. Tanya was moaning and wiggling in my lap and pissing me off. I leaned in one more time to whisper in her ear._

_"Well keep dreaming, because I will never fuck you. Do you hear me? Never." She pulled away from me and tried to pout, like it was going to change my mind. _

_"Get the fuck off me and don't touch me again," I demanded, as I pushed her off my lap onto the floor. I grabbed the bottle of liquor and the shot glass and stormed back up to my apartment, angrier than I had been when I left it._

I knew I had been a complete ass by pulling that shit with Tanya in front of Bella, but I had been drunk and pissed. And now, a week later, she hadn't given me the chance to talk to her and apologize. I knew that I would need to do a lot of groveling and shit, but hopefully Bella would believe me when I told her that nothing happened between Tanya and me.

I continued to strum my guitar and sing a little in the quiet of my apartment. After learning how much Bella had loved the song I had played when we made love, I made it my mission to learn to play the song myself. Since I had nothing but time in the past week, I had gotten better at it. I wanted to be able to play it for her one day, but I wasn't sure if I would ever get the chance.

_"That's when you need someone,_

_Someone that you care for_

_When all your faith is gone, _

_It feels like you can't go on"_

There was a loud banging at the door before I could get to the chorus of the song. Figuring it was some drunken bar patron, I got frustrated that they had interrupted my practice. Placing my guitar back on its stand, I walked over to the door and unlocked it. When I opened the door, I was shocked at who I saw.

Bella was standing there, her eyes red and swollen, tears continually running down her face. She surprised me by throwing herself at me. As I struggled to hold on to her, I kicked the door closed behind us.

"Bella, baby, what's wrong? What happened?" I asked her as I sat us down on the couch. She climbed in my lap and held tightly to me, continuing to sob.

"I had no where else to go. You were the only one," she cried, as her body shook with sobs. I held her tightly to me, running my hand up and down her back, trying to calm her cries. After a few minutes she seemed to have calmed down enough to talk to me.

"Bella, can you tell me what happened?" I asked her as she turned to face me. She used the back of her hand to wipe the remaining tears from her eyes before answering me.

"You were right, Edward. I walked into Mike's office tonight to talk to him and I caught him and Jessica. I caught them fucking in his office. I am such a fucking idiot, Edward! He had me completely fooled and I was such an idiot for not realizing it!" Bella screamed at me, her arms flailing in the air. I reached over and caught her hands and held them tightly in mine, bringing them down to rest in my lap.

"Bella, you are _not_ an idiot. The fucker had you totally fooled. He let you see what he wanted you to see. The only reason I saw it is because I was once a guy like him. I like to think I have changed, but that doesn't mean I didn't recognize what he was doing. It's not your fault you didn't see it. He didn't want you to," I told her as she watched me intently. Bella continued to stare in my eyes, not speaking. I wondered briefly if she was okay, but her next actions let me know she was in fact, just fine.

Bella threw one of her legs across mine, straddling me on my couch. Forcefully, she grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me to her lips. At first I was too shocked to move, but soon I let my body take over and began to kiss her back in earnest. She rocked her hips against me as her mouth attacked mine. With each thrust of her hips, she made my cock harder and harder. I gripped her ass in my hands and pushed her down even harder on me. She broke away suddenly, gasping at the sensation.

"Fuck, Edward," she moaned as I kissed and bit at her neck. "That feels so fucking good." I knew in my head that we shouldn't be doing this tonight, but for some reason my body and my mind weren't cooperating at the moment. Bella began to kiss along the column of my neck and it felt good, but I was finally able to get my body to agree with my mind.

"Bella," I groaned out as she continued to move on top of my lap. "Baby, it feels so fucking good, but we can't do this right now. You know we can't." Bella's head dropped to my shoulder and her body began to shake with sobs again. I lifted her head off of my shoulder and made her look me in the eyes.

"Please don't cry. Please baby. I'm sorry, but you've gotta know deep down that we shouldn't do this right now, not tonight," I told her truthfully.

"I know," she said, nodding her head at me. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead as she sighed quietly.

"Why don't we get you into something more comfortable and you can stay the night here tonight. You look so tired and I don't think you should be driving in your condition right now anyway," I said as we both stood up from the couch. Bella agreed as we walked into my bedroom together.

I handed Bella some sweats and a t-shirt and sent her off to the bathroom to change. When she came out, she had washed her face and pulled her hair up and she looked a lot better than she had ten minutes ago. I pulled the covers back on the bed and allowed her to climb in. Tucking the covers around her, I bent down and kissed her lips gently. I stood to walk back into the living room, but Bella grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"Will you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?" she asked me quietly.

"Where else am I gonna go?" I asked her as I settled myself down on the bed beside her. I knew we had a lot to talk about, but for now I knew she needed to sleep. She would be here in the morning and then we would talk.

**A/N: I know this was a quick update and it's pretty short. I couldn't leave you guys hanging like that. Just to let you know, the next one won't be so quick. I am working on the update right now though. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**A/N: Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing for me. **

**I think this chapter might answer one question that a lot of you have been asking me in reviews.**

_**"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.**_

_**I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, **_

_**but for what you are making of me. **_

_**I love you for the part of me that you bring out."**_

_**Elizabeth Barrett Browning**_

I didn't know how long I laid in bed and held Bella in my arms, but once her breathing finally evened out and I knew she was asleep, I let my body relax. I tried for a few minutes to get some sleep myself, but it was useless. My body might have been relaxed and content with Bella lying next to me, but my mind was running a million miles an hour.

I knew that the first thing I had to do was convince Bella that nothing had happened between me and Tanya. I had truly fucked up when I let her believe what she was seeing that day in the bar. I hoped that Bella had enough faith in me to know that I would never do something like that to her, especially since I was accusing Mike of doing pretty much the exact same thing.

Secondly, I had to make her see that I was only telling her about Mike to protect her. I wasn't doing it out of jealousy or spite, but out of a need to protect her. Whether she was with me or not, I knew that she didn't belong with a fucker like him.

Deciding that I wasn't going to get any sleep anytime soon, I carefully removed my arm out from underneath Bella's head and stood up. I looked back down at her to make sure I hadn't woken her up and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. Closing the bedroom door, I left it open so I could hear if she woke up and walked quietly into the living room. I glanced at my guitar and contemplated playing, but decided against it so I wouldn't wake up Bella.

I walked over to my stereo and hooked up my iPod to play softly and sat down on the couch. Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes and thought about everything Bella had told me when she first walked in tonight. She had caught Mike and Jessica red handed, so I knew there was no way she was going to continue to be with him. Even knowing this, I still didn't know if she would want to be with me. Before she left after our argument she said that she had thought about being with me again, but that was before all the bullshit went down with Tanya.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling wondering what in the hell I was going to do to fix this. A movement to my left caught my eye and I turned to see Bella tiptoeing toward the front door. I don't know how she thought she could leave without me noticing, seeing as I was sitting right in the living room.

"Bella?" I called out, causing her to drop the clothing she had in her hands.

"Shit!" she screamed as she turned toward where I was sitting with her hand held to her chest. "You scared the crap out of me Edward."

"I didn't mean to wake you. Where are you going?" I questioned her as I stood up from my seat.

"I was just going to head home. I shouldn't have come over here last night. The last thing you need is me messing up your life," she said quietly as she walked toward the door. I reached out and grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face me.

"Bella, can we talk? Please?" She bit down on her lower lip and sighed before finally walking over with me to the couch to sit down. She sat her things down beside her and turned to face me.

"So, what did you want to talk about? We really should hurry this up because I don't want you to get into any trouble having me here overnight," she said as she fiddled with her hands.

"How would you get me into any trouble?" I asked her, confused by what she was saying. "I don't get what you're talking about?"

"Your friend? The one I saw you with in the bar that night after our argument?" she said harshly. _Shit_. I knew she had thought more had happened than what did, but I had no clue that she thought we were in some type of relationship.

"Bella, that girl you saw me with, Tanya, she is _nothing_ to me. You've gotta believe me, baby. Nothing happened that night with her, nothing ever has. I was a complete asshole that night and used her to make you jealous. In my drunken state, I decided to make you feel a little bit of what I felt every time I saw you with Mike. It was completely stupid of me and I am so sorry," I told her honestly. Bella sat there staring at me, saying nothing.

"You believe me, don't you? I completely understand if you don't, but I promise you that nothing happened. Right after you walked out I pushed her off my lap and came back up to my apartment," I insisted.

"Yeah, Edward, believe it or not I do believe you. I think deep down I knew that nothing had happened, but it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt," Bella said quietly while looking down at her lap. I reached over and grabbed one of her hands, holding it tightly in mine.

"I am so sorry for hurting you. I wish that I could stop hurting you so much. I know that I went about telling you what I thought about Mike the wrong way, but I couldn't stand by and watch him hurt you anymore. I know you said that I was doing it out of jealousy, but believe me it was nothing like that. Bella, I feel very protective of you. Even if you never wanted to be with me again, I couldn't let him continue to treat you like that." I held her hand in mine, caressing it lightly with my thumb.

"I know Edward, and I want to apologize to you for what I said that night. I shouldn't have thrown what happened between us when you first came to town in your face. That is in the past and I have forgiven you. I was just in denial and confused and I lashed out."

"It's okay, baby. Believe me, I understand," I said, before pulling her hand up to my mouth and placing a soft kiss on it. She smiled at me and then blushed. "What's that blush all about?" I asked her as I ran my finger along the apple of her cheek.

"I just wanted to thank you for not letting me go through with last night. I was so emotional and can't thank you enough for not letting my second time be marred by what Mike did to me," she admitted.

_Second time? Wait? I was her first and if I let last night happen that would have only been her second time. So that means that..._

"What?" I squeaked out. "So, you and Mike? You never...?" Bella looked over at me and smiled slightly.

"No, Mike and I never slept together, thank God. I think I knew deep down who I was meant to be with." I grabbed her before I could even think about stopping myself and pulled her tightly to me.

"Thank God. I know I was an asshole to you, but I can't help but be thankful that you haven't given yourself to him," I whispered to her as I rocked her slightly in my arms. Bella let out a small laugh as I placed small kisses all along her head. I pulled back slightly and looked at her and smiled.

"Bella, I know during our argument you said that you had thought about being with me again. Do you still think that you would want to be with me?"

"Edward, I don't think I can _not _be with you," she said laughing a little. "I just can't jump into it head first like last time. I would like to take things a little slower."

"Slow... I can do slow," I said and Bella laughed. "I will do anything you want just as long as I can call you mine again." A familiar song began playing on the iPod. Bella and I looked at each other, smiling.

"Dance with me?" she asked as she stood up and held her hand out to me. I stood up beside her and took her hand in mine, smiling widely.

"I thought you'd never ask." I held Bella in my arms and danced slowly around my living room, thinking about the first time I had danced with her to this song. That was the first time I had realized I was developing feelings for Bella. Not wanting to fight feelings anymore, I reached up and placed my hands on Bella's cheeks and rested my forehead against hers.

"I love you, Bella Swan," I whispered to her and placed a slow, sweet kiss on her lips. When I pulled away from her, she sighed but the look on her face was sad. I began to wonder if what I was feeling for her was totally one sided.

"Edward, you know how I feel about you. I just... I can't say the words right now. I know I might seem like a bitch for saying that but..." she said, before I cut her off with another kiss.

"It's okay, Bella. Believe me, it's okay. We've got all the time in the world," I whispered to her, beginning to dance with her again. If I had anything to do with it, we would never be apart again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**A/N: Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing. **

_**"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards;**_

_** they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. **_

_**The way it actually works is the reverse. **_

_**You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."**_

_**Margaret Young**_

Since Bella and I had decided to try being in a romantic relationship again, everything had been going good. While we both had agreed that we should move slower this go around, my dick didn't get the memo. Every time Bella would bite her bottom lip, I would have to adjust myself. Every time she would giggle, I would have to fight back the moan that would try to escape my throat. In other words, it was complete torture being around her, but I wouldn't be anywhere else.

Her friends had, surprisingly, greeted me back into their group with open arms. They all said they had seen Bella both with and without me and she was definitely happier with me. Emmett, Jasper and I might have bonded over the fact that we all wanted to kick Mike's ass. The next time I saw that fucker I couldn't be blamed for my actions. He deserved a good ass kicking and if I had anything to do with it, that is exactly what he would get.

"Are you about ready?" Bella called to me from the living room. I ran the razor across my jaw and cleaned it out in the sink. Bella and I were having everyone over tonight for a movie night. I really wanted to be alone with her, but that would probably do nothing to help my resolve of moving slowly with her.

"Yeah, just about. I just need to get dressed," I replied as I wiped my now freshly shaved face on the hand towel. I grabbed my clothes off the bed and walked back into the bathroom. I could probably get dressed in the bedroom, but I didn't want to risk Bella walking in. Because lets face it, if she saw me in all my naked glory I probably wouldn't be able to stop her. _Huh... it seems I might have gotten a little cockier due to my happiness right now._

"Babe, your phone's ringing. You want me to get it?" Bella hollered from the other room. I stuck my head out the door and told her to go ahead and answer it.

After getting dressed and attempting to tame my hair, I walked back in the living room to find Bella placing a big bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table.

"Who was on the phone?" I asked her as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me tightly.

"I don't know. The call was marked private and when I answered no one said anything, so I just hung up. If it was important, they'll call back." I hummed in agreement as I kissed her neck lightly and let her go about her business. She continued to straighten up pillows on the couch and dust off invisible lint while I casually grabbed my cell phone off the table and walked into the kitchen.

I scrolled through the recent call list on my phone and sighed. If the calls weren't from Bella or Esme, they were from this private caller. I had answered every time the number had called, but each time the person said nothing. I hadn't had my number changed since moving to Forks so it could be almost anyone calling. I just didn't understand why they kept calling and not saying a word.

I was shaken from my thoughts by a loud knocking at the door. Shaking my head and laughing, I stuck my phone in my pocket and went to open the door. I knew exactly who it was by the knock and of course the loud talking on the other side might have clued me in as well.

"What's up, man?" Emmett asked me as he walked past me to go inside. He was closely followed by Rose, Jasper and Alice. I had no idea why they had all chosen to come to my small apartment, but Bella suggested it and everyone just went with it.

We all walked into the living room and got comfortable as Emmett stood by the television with a DVD in his hands. He had begged us all to let him choose the movie, saying that he never failed to pick a good one.

"So, what movie did you choose?" Jasper asked him as he ate some popcorn from the bowl.

"I chose this movie with the ladies in mind," he said, motioning like he was Vanna fucking White or some shit. "I now present... Diary of a Wimpy Kid." Emmett stood there for a minute like he was waiting on some applause or something.

"Seriously Emmett? That's a fucking kids movie. You realize that, don't you?" Rose asked him as he stuck the movie in the player.

"Yeah, but I mean, all you chicks are always wanting to watch movies that are based on your favorite books and shit, so I thought you'd like this one." He walked back over and took a seat beside Rose on the couch. Bella sat on the couch beside Alice, while both Jasper and I sat on the floor in front of our girls.

"Come on guys. Let's just give it a few minutes. You never know, we might like it," Bella said as she pushed play. I leaned back between her legs as she played with my hair. If she kept that shit up, I would be out like a light within a few minutes.

After ten minutes of the shitty kids movie we all gave up and decided to go down to the bar and get a few drinks. The place was pretty busy so we chose to sit in one of the booths by the front window. We all placed our drink orders with Seth and got comfortable in the booth.

"Emmett, man, did you really think that movie would go over well with us?" I asked Emmett before I popped a few of the peanuts from the bowl on the table in my mouth.

"How was I supposed to know that movie was going to be shitty? I mean come on, it was based on a book," Emmett defended. We all shook our heads and laughed.

"Emm, just because a movie is based on a book doesn't mean that it's going to be any good. While I haven't read that particular book before, I can almost promise you that the book was far better than the movie. It almost always is," Bella stated as she reached for the drink Seth had placed in front of her.

We all drank our drinks and us guys got into conversation about sports while the girls were carrying on their own conversation, probably about shopping or something. After a few minutes, I looked over to Bella and noticed her attention was focused on something outside the window.

"What's the matter, baby?" I asked her, placing a soft kiss on the skin behind her ear. She jumped a little at first, but then sighed.

"I was just looking at that car over there," she said, pointing discreetly at a black sedan parked across the street from the bar. "I've noticed it a few times parked at the diner the past few days. No matter how many times I have seen the car though, I don't think I have ever seen anyone get out of it. It kinda creeps me out."

I wrapped my arm tightly around Bella. If I wasn't mistaken, it was the same black sedan that I had seen countless times since arriving in Forks months ago. I thought that the car had all but disappeared, but with Bella's confession of seeing it parked at the diner, I just realized that I hadn't been looking for it. I had let my guard down.

"I'm sure it's nothing, baby" I told her, kissing her lightly on her temple. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I needed to find out who this fucker was in this car and what the fuck they wanted. Messing with me was one thing, but if they thought they could mess with my girl, they had another thing coming.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing. **

**I hope you all had a very good Christmas and since this will be the last update before the new year, I wish you all a very Happy New Year. **

_**"The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way."**_

_**Josh Billings**_

Since that night in the bar, I had barely let Bella out of my sight. Seeing the fear on her face as she eyed the car in the parking lot and hearing it in her voice when she spoke about it caused me to become a paranoid mother fucker. I begged Bella practically every night to stay with me and thankfully, most of the time, she agreed. I just felt like she was safer if she was here, in my arms. She was finally mine and I'll be damned if I let anyone take her away from me.

I had no idea who it was in the black sedan, but I had a feeling it was the same person that was constantly calling me. Although the phone calls had continued, I hadn't seen the car again. I was constantly looking out the windows at work, trying to catch a glimpse of the car, but so far had no luck. Walking to the diner to pick Bella up from work, I would keep my eyes moving all around me, searching for anything out of place. It seemed that, aside from the phone calls, the mystery car had disappeared.

I groaned and rolled over on my side, facing Bella. She was still sleeping, but I couldn't shut my mind down. I lifted my hand and brushed a stray hair from her face. She looked so peaceful when she slept and I prayed that I could keep it that way.

Although Bella and I slept in the same bed almost every night, we had yet to make love again. We had both agreed that we shouldn't jump into a physical relationship so quickly, but I wasn't sure how much longer I, or my dick, could hold out. Bella has the craziest way of making the most boring things sexy; the way she brushed her teeth in the mornings standing in front of the mirror, the way she held one hand on her hip while she stood in front of the refrigerator with the door wide open.

I was hoping that Bella and I could do something special together today since it was my birthday. I really hadn't felt like celebrating my birthday in years, but having a girl and friends to share the day with had me thinking differently this year. Bella moaned a bit and blinked her eyes several times before settling them on my smiling face.

"Good morning," she said roughly as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. I leaned over and kissed her quickly before she had a chance to complain of her morning breath.

"Morning baby," I said as she smiled brightly at me. Bella's eyes suddenly got wide and she sat up quickly.

"What time is it?" she asked me as she grabbed her clothes and ran in the bathroom. I looked at her in confusion before she slammed the door. I rolled over and looked at the clock.

"It's quarter after ten," I yelled back to her. The bathroom door swung open to reveal a flustered Bella.

"Shit, shit, shit. I've got to go," she said, grabbing her bag and stuffing it with the some of the clothes she had left over.

"Why? What's going on? I thought we could spend the day together," I complained as I sat up in bed and watched her frantically run around my bedroom.

"I can't today, Edward. I've got some stuff to do," she replied, throwing her bag over her shoulder.

"Well, give me a minute and I can go with you." I stood up from the bed and threw my jeans on and went in search of a shirt.

"No, don't worry about it. I'll see you later," she said, kissing me quickly on the cheek. Before she could turn around, I grabbed her by the wrist and spun her back toward me. Something was going on and I didn't like it.

"Where are you going Bella?"

"I've got some things to do Edward."

"And I said I would go with you if you'd just give me a minute."

"And I said don't worry about it."

"Who are you going to be with?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, evidently there is a reason you don't want me to go with you. So, I'm asking again, who are you going to be with?"

"I'm going to be with Carlisle, okay?"

"Oh, okay, I see. You're still ashamed to be with me. I get it, Bella. Don't fucking worry about it," I sneered.

"Edward, no, that's not it. You don't understand. I... " she started, but I interrupted her.

"No, don't give me that shit, Bella. I completely fucking understand. Why don't you just drop me and go back to Mike? We all know how fucking proud Uncle Carlisle was of Mike. God forbid you be caught with someone like me. It would ruin the precious Cullen's reputation," I yelled as I slung shit around my room. I had been trying to get Bella to take me over to her house for a few days. Now that my anger at Esme had all but disappeared, I figured I would need to get to know her husband, but Bella had been against me going over there.

"Edward, I don't have time for this. You're being a complete asshole and I need to leave before either of us says _something else_ that hurts," she said before turning and walking out the front door.

I groaned and dropped to the couch. _When was I going to ever learn to keep my fucking mouth shut?_ I just practically told the girl I love to kick my ass to the curb and go back to her cheating ex. I wouldn't blame her in the least if she actually did it. I was just so pissed over the fact that she forgot my damn birthday and she refused to go anywhere with me. If we weren't upstairs here watching movies or something, we were downstairs in the bar. I had never really taken her out on a date outside this building since we had gotten back together. I knew I needed to make up for the shit I had just pulled and that would probably be the perfect way to do it.

"Open up man!" I heard Emmett holler from outside the door. I walked over and opened the door, finding both him and Jasper standing there.

"What happened to Bella?" Jasper asked as he made himself comfortable on the couch. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and groaned because I really didn't want my ass kicked on my birthday.

"I fucked up, again." I leaned my head back on the couch and closed my eyes.

"What the fuck did you do to her? She was practically in tears as she rushed out the front door downstairs," Emmett growled.

"Fuck. I didn't mean to make her cry. Let me get a shower and get dressed, and then I'll let you kick my ass for being so fucking stupid."

**/CSA\\CSA/CSA\\**

One hour later, I was freshly showered and sitting at the kitchen bar eating a bowl of cereal while both Jasper and Emmett stared at me, waiting for me to fess up. I took my bowl to the sink and turned around to face the firing squad.

"Alright man, enough stalling. What the fuck did you do to her?" Emmett asked.

"Just tell us. The longer you take, the more pissed off you make us," Jasper said. I walked into the living room with them right behind me. Settling myself on the couch, I realized how stupid my argument was going to be.

"It's just that since Bella and I have gotten back together, she refuses to go anywhere with me. If we aren't up here watching movies, we're downstairs in the bar. I've asked her a couple of times to take me to her house, but she refuses. It's like she doesn't want to be seen with me," I complained.

"Well, I can understand how much that hurt your feelings," Jasper said as both he and Emmett sat down.

"And she forgot my birthday," I muttered.

"What was that?" Emmett asked when I looked back up at him.

"I said she forgot my birthday," I said petulantly. Suddenly, both Jasper and Emmett busted out laughing and it ticked me off.

"Fuck you guys. Excuse me for actually being pissed that my girlfriend forgot my birthday. It was the first time in a long fucking time that I actually felt like celebrating the fact that I was born and she fucking forgot!" I yelled. Jasper and Emmett both shut up and stared at me.

"Man, we're sorry for laughing. You'll understand why in just a minute. Just follow us," Jasper said, motioning for me to follow him and Emmett downstairs. I moaned, but got up and followed them anyway. Jasper and Emmett moved to the side and let me walk first. Pushing open the door that led to the bar, I jumped back in shock.

"Happy Birthday!"

**A/N: So, yeah... I'm betting our Edward feels like a complete ass about right now. Let me know what you think. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. The all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**A/N: Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing for me. **

**So yeah, most of you agreed that Edward was a complete ass in the last chapter. Let's see how he gets himself out of this one, shall we?**

_**"When you realize you've made a mistake, make amends immediately. **_

_**It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm." **_

_**Dan Heist**_

It's official. I was a complete asshole. My wonderful, loving girlfriend was planning me a surprise birthday party and I was telling her to go back to her jackass cheating boyfriend. How fucking stupid could I be?

I looked around the bar and saw balloons of all colors, streamers that ran along the walls and pretty much everyone I had met during my time here in Forks. Jake, Embry, Quil and all the guys were behind the bar fixing drinks. Alice and Rose were standing by the long table that was filled with food. Esme, and even Carlisle were there. Bella was standing in front of me, a look of worry on her face. I stepped forward and pulled her to me quickly, hugging her to me tightly.

"Baby, I am so fucking sorry. I was such an ass," I whispered into her ear as she hugged me back. She pulled away from me and smiled sadly.

"It's okay. I understand," she said quietly. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. She was always taking my bullshit and it wasn't right.

"No it sure as hell is not okay. I was a complete bastard to you earlier and all you were trying to do was throw me a fucking party," I said angrily. I always had a temper and I knew now, that if I wanted to keep Bella in my life, I was going to have to try and reign it in. If I kept up with the bullshit I pulled earlier she was going to leave me and I could blame no one but myself.

"You're right. You were an asshole to me and you said some very hurtful things, but if we want this relationship to work we've got to accept each others assaholic tendencies and learn to deal," she said crossing, her arms in front of her. I looked at the seriousness on her face and couldn't help but burst out laughing. She started laughing with me as I pulled her into another hug.

"God I love you," I said as I kissed the top of her head. It was getting a lot easier to tell her how I felt about her. Although Bella had yet to tell me again that she loved me, she did show it in her actions and today proved that point to me. All my life I had never had anyone throw me a birthday party. My grandmother didn't like strangers in her home and my father didn't give a shit about me enough to do it. I briefly wondered, if I had grown up with Esme as a mother, would my life have been filled with birthday parties and family celebrations?

"Come on Birthday Boy, lets go greet your guests," Bella said, taking my hand in hers and walking us over to where our friends stood. Emmett and Jasper had joined Rose and Alice while we were talking.

"Happy birthday, Edward," Alice said as she gave me a quick hug. Rose mumbled a quick 'Happy Birthday' without even looking up.

"Thanks guys," I told them honestly. I had never really had anyone to celebrate a birthday with and this year I had a room full of people who wanted to celebrate with me. The girls broke off into their own conversation and the guys turned to me.

"I bet you feel good right now, don't ya?" Jasper said, slapping me on the back as he and Emmett both laughed at me. I groaned and ran my hands through my hair roughly.

"I feel so fucking stupid," I replied as I looked up at them. Emmett came over and wrapped an arm over my shoulder and laughed.

"Well, like I say, it hasn't been a normal week if I don't feel stupid at least once." I, along with Jasper, laughed at him and pretty much agreed.

"Hey babe," Bella said turning toward me and taking my hand. "Why don't we go over and say hello to your mom and Carlisle?" I agreed and walked over with her. Esme smiled widely at us and reached over to hug me. Months ago I would have cringed at her touch, but our meetings at the coffee shop and phone conversations had showed me what kind of person Esme truly was. She was a kind, generous woman whom my father didn't deserve at all.

"Happy birthday, Edward," she said as she pulled away.

"Thanks," I replied. I nodded my head in greeting at Carlisle. We had yet to have any type of conversation and I knew that if I was going to remain in Bella's life, that was going to happen sooner rather than later. It seemed Carlisle preferred sooner.

"Edward, do you mind if I have a word with you?" he asked. I nodded my head and kissed Bella on the cheek. She smiled at me and motioned for me to follow Carlisle. Carlisle walked us over to a corner of the room where no one else was. I immediately became nervous, afraid he was going to tell me that I needed to stay out of Bella's life. What he actually said shocked the fucking hell out of me.

"I just wanted to apologize to you, Edward. The way I acted and spoke to you that day in the hospital was completely out of line. It's just that I am very protective of Bella and my wife, and I was afraid that you were going to do nothing but hurt them. Esme has told me about your phone calls and coffee visits and Bella does nothing but speak good things about you." I would be lying if I said I wasn't floored by his apology.

"Umm, thanks. I understand why you acted the way you did. After what I did when I first came to town, I completely deserved it. But I have changed, I can promise that. I would rather die than do anything to hurt Bella, and I am slowly trying to build some type of relationship with Esme," I said honestly. He nodded his head at me and smiled slightly.

"I can see that now, Edward. You are in both Bella's and my wife's lives and I know that I do need to get to know you. What do you think about coming over for dinner one night this week and we can get to know one another a little better?" he asked, reaching his hand over to shake mine. I shook his hand and nodded.

"I think that sounds great," I replied. We both turned to walk back to Bella and Esme when I heard Bella's voice loudly over everyone.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she yelled as I searched the room for her. I found her and growled loudly as I noticed who she was talking to. I quickly walked over to them and had to stop myself from beating the shit out of him right then and there. Mike grabbed Bella's arm and tried to pull him to her.

"Let me go!" Bella winced as he squeezed her arm tightly. I grabbed his arm and spun him to where he faced me. I could smell the alcohol all over him.

"I believe my girlfriend told you to let her go," I growled at him. He quickly let go of Bella's arm and narrowed his eyes at me. I looked over his shoulder to Bella and silently asked her if she was okay. She rubbed her arm slightly and nodded.

"I think you need to leave," I told him as I pulled his arm to get him moving. He yanked his arm away from me and everything else happened in a flash. He pulled his arm back to punch me, but Bella had stepped too close behind him. His elbow made contact with her head and she hit the floor hard.

"You stupid son of a bitch!" I yelled and punched him. Before he even hit the ground I was by Bella, picking her up off the floor and cradling her in my arms. Carlisle rushed over to me and looked at Bella in my arms.

"You take her upstairs to your apartment. I'll take care of this asshole," he said angrily.

A few minutes later Carlisle and Esme both came up to my apartment and checked on Bella. Carlisle assured me that he had handled Mike. I looked at his knuckles and they appeared swollen and red, and I made myself remember to ask him about that when I went over for dinner.

"I'm okay," Bella tried to assure us. She had a large bruise forming on her cheekbone and she said her head hurt a bit, but other than that she felt fine. I leaned over and wrapped my arm around her, kissing her gently on top of her head.

"Are you going to stick around here with Edward for a bit or did you want to catch a ride home with us?" Esme asked her as they moved to leave the apartment.

"I'm going to stay here with Edward, if you guys don't mind?" Bella asked as she looked at me for confirmation.

"You know I don't care if you stay here baby," I told her smiling. I walked Esme and Carlisle over to the door and Carlisle leaned over and spoke quietly to me.

"I would tell you to take care of her, but I know that I really don't need to do that," he said before clapping me on the shoulder and walking out with his wife.

It seemed that Carlisle Cullen understood me and we might get along just fine.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing for me. **

"_**There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. "**_

_**George Sand**_

"Are you sure you're okay, baby?" I asked Bella as I sat down beside her on the couch. I cupped her cheek and ran my thumb lightly along the bruise that was already forming on her cheek. Although I wanted to kick Mike's ass for even showing up here tonight, I had a feeling that Carlisle had already handled that part for me.

"I'm fine, Edward," she said as she leaned back and relaxed on the couch. I leaned back beside her and placed an arm around her, pulling her toward me.

"I really am sorry about overreacting. I just tend to imagine the worst and I really shouldn't have in this case," I said before leaning over and kissing her temple lightly.

"No, Edward, I understand. I really should have invited you over to my house before now, but I was just so afraid that you and Carlisle would blow up at each other and cause some big scene. I was completely wrong though. He was actually the one who gave me the idea of throwing you this party. Esme had been a little nostalgic this week and Carlisle found out that it was your birthday, so he suggested that we throw you a party." Bella leaned up to look at me and she laughed a bit at the shocked expression on my face.

"It was Carlisle's idea? Really?"

"Yeah. He knew that Esme had missed so many of your birthdays and wanted this one to be special... for both of you. I saw you guys talking before the whole thing with Mike went down. What did he have to say?" she asked, turning to face me on the couch.

"Well, first he apologized for being an ass the first time we spoke. I told him it was completely unnecessary and that I deserved it. Then, he invited me for dinner one night this week." Bella smiled at me widely before throwing her arms around me and hugging me tightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't invite you sooner." I ran my hands up and down her back soothingly.

"It's okay, baby. I understand why you didn't. You don't mind that I agreed, do you? If you're not ready, I can call and cancel. I'm sure he won't mind," I said nervously, suddenly not so sure of the decision I had made. Bella reached over and placed her hand over my mouth, stopping my rant.

"It's fine. As a matter of fact, it means a lot to both me and Esme that you want to get to know Carlisle better."

"Bella, of course I want to get to know him better. He's a part of both your life and... my mom's life. I know that I was a complete asshole when I first got here and I fucked up a lot, but I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. You're it for me, baby."

Bella looked at me from her spot on the couch with tears in her eyes. After a few seconds, she got up on her knees and moved to straddle me on the couch, pulling me in for a deep, passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around her tightly, relishing in the contact her body currently had with mine. Moments later, we pulled apart, both of us breathing harshly. My hands continued to run up and down her back as she leaned forward, placing her forehead against mine, her eyes closed.

"God, I love you. Just when I think you couldn't do anything else to make me love you more, you go and say something like that." My hands suddenly stilled as my mind took in exactly what she had just said. She said she loved me. She had actually said the words out loud.

"What? What did you just say?" I asked her, my eyes wide open. Bella smiled slightly, her eyes still closed.

"I said that I love you."

"Open your eyes for me and say it again. Please?" I almost begged her. She smiled shyly as her eyes fluttered open.

"I love you, Edward." My eyes searched hers for any sign of regret or doubt and found none. I smiled widely and cupped her face with my hands.

"I love you, too. So fucking much." I pulled her toward me, kissing her madly as her hands went straight for my hair. She gripped it tightly in her hands as she rotated her hips. I pulled away from her mouth and continued kissing and sucking along her neck. I knew that I needed to put a stop to this soon if we were going to maintain our slow status. Bella threw her head back and moaned loudly as I placed open mouth kisses along the expanse of her chest exposed to me.

"Make love to me Edward," she whispered as she moved her hands to my chest. I looked into her eyes, once again looking for doubt, but finding none.

"Are you sure, baby?" Bella began to unbutton my shirt and ran her hands along my now naked chest. She leaned forward and placed a kiss near my heart and looked into my eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure. I love you Edward and I want you to make love to me." I kissed her slowly before standing up with her body still wrapped around mine. I gripped her ass in my hands as she kissed and bit at my neck, making it extremely difficult to make it to my bedroom without falling flat on my ass.

Once we made it to the bed, I laid her down gently. I moved to the end of the bed and removed her shoes, tossing them behind me before moving to the button of her jeans. Once they were undone, I slid the jeans, along with her panties, down her legs swiftly. I stood and removed my clothing quickly, but evidently not quick enough for Bella. When I looked back to Bella, she had already removed the rest of her clothes and was lying naked, waiting for me.

I reached out and clasped her ankle in my hand and gently kissed up her leg until I met the top of her thigh. Placing her foot back down on the bed, I repeated my actions on her other leg. By the time I was done, Bella was breathing heavily and watching me closely.

I leaned down and kissed the skin below her belly button, my eyes never leaving hers, watching for protest. I moved down slowly and spread her open for me, flicking her clit with my tongue. Bella's hands went to my hair as she called my name out in question. I looked up at her and her face was flush with embarrassment.

"Ummm, Edward, you really don't have to do that," she said shyly.

"Do you trust me, baby?"

"Always."

"Then trust me to make you feel good," I whispered to her before turning and sucking her clit into my mouth and running my finger along her opening. I pushed a finger into her slowly as her hands gripped my hair tightly, anchoring me to her body. I continued alternating between flicking her clit with my tongue and nibbling gently on it. Remembering that this would only be her second time, I gently pushed two fingers into her. I knew I needed to make sure she came before making love to her, making sure she was ready for me.

I gently pushed my fingers in and out slowly and looked up to find Bella watching me intently. I moved up her body while continuing to move my fingers in and out of her. I stuck my tongue out and flicked her nipple playfully with my tongue. I pulled on in gently with my teeth and locked eyes with Bella. Her body and mind must have been on a sensory overload because suddenly she was clenching around my fingers, her body arching off the bed and her voice calling out my name.

Once Bella had calmed some, I moved to kneel between her legs. She smiled lazily at me and pulled me down for a sensual kiss. She broke apart from me and moved to whisper in my ear.

"Make love to me Edward. Please?" Not being able to deny her, I lined myself up with her entrance and slowly pushed forward. I watched her face as I entered her inch by inch for any signs of pain, wanting to avoid any if at all possible. Once I was fully surrounded by her, I pushed up to look at her face.

"You okay?" I groaned out, trying to keep my body from thrusting back and forward again. Bella lifted up and kissed me quickly before lying back down.

"Perfect." She smiled; I slowly pulled out and rocked forward again as Bella's legs wrapped tightly around me.

"Fuck, baby. You feel so fucking good," I groaned as I continued to thrust in and out. I lifted one of Bella's legs and hooked it around my arm as I moved in and out of her body.

"Oh, Edward," Bella moaned as I hit a different spot deep inside her with each thrust. I could feel Bella's body slowly tensing up around me, telling me she was close. I looked down at her; her eyes were closed, passion and bliss written all over her face.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked into mine. In that moment, it felt like Bella was looking all the way into my soul. It was just us in the moment. The building could fall down all around us and neither of us would care.

I placed her leg back down and leaned down, bracing myself on my forearms. Still locked eye to eye, I continued to make love to her. I kissed her slowly and let my forehead fall to hers.

"I love you," I told her as she closed her eyes and I felt her body clench tightly around mine. I could feel myself getting closer to release, but wanted to prolong it as long as possible. Bella opened her eyes slowly, looking into mine once again.

"I love you," she whispered seconds before I felt myself fall over the edge. I continued to slowly thrust into her, riding out the feeling for as long as possible.

Completely exhausted, I moved off of Bella and fell to her side. She giggled and rolled over to face me, placing her head on my chest. I reached down and pulled the covers over us.

"Happy Birthday Edward," she told me, gently kissing my chest. I turned and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you baby. I love you." Although I had started the day thinking it was going to be another suck ass birthday, it turned out to be the best one I'd ever had.

"I love you too, Edward."


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Thanks to my beta, Juliegirl8. So sorry for the wait on this one. The final chapters have all been written so hopefully the wait won't be long from here on out. **

_**"Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own."**_

_**H. Jackson Brown, Jr. **_

"Do I really have to go?" I asked her as my head laid on her naked stomach, my hand drawing lazy patterns across her chest. I looked up at her and she smiled widely.

"Yes, you really have to go," she said as she ran her hands through my hair. We'd been lying here half the morning, not even bothering to get dressed. Since that first night we made love again, I had barely been able to get my fill of Bella. She felt the same about me... at least I hoped so.

"I really, really don't want to though." I reached up and cupped her cheek, trying to give her my best sad eyes. I ran my thumb across the fading bruise on her pale skin. It had been a week since the incident in the bar, but it still pissed me off to see the evidence on her face.

"Edward, you were the one who practically blew up at me for not inviting you sooner and now you're doing anything you can to put it off." She was completely right. Since the night Carlisle had invited me over I had been finding anything to do other than going to her house. I knew deep down that I would have to do it eventually, because it was for the woman I loved; the woman that loved me. It didn't mean my ass wasn't scared though.

"Yeah, but you're not gonna be there," I said, pouting like the five year old I had evidently become lately. She sat up beside me covering her chest with the discarded sheet.

"Edward, you know I have to work today. I'll head home as soon as my shift at the diner ends. You know I won't leave you in the lion's den by yourself for too long," she said, laughing.

"Laugh it up now, baby," I said, sitting up beside her. "You don't have to go through the whole meet the parents thing. I mean, I know they aren't really your parents, but they are the people who take care of you so it feels like that. You don't have to go through this because you already know and love my mom."

"Yeah, but I haven't met your dad," Bella said, before standing up so she could start to get dressed. The thought of her meeting Ed made my blood boil and before I knew it I had reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down on the bed with me.

"If I have any say so at all, you will never have to meet him. He will never, ever lay eyes on you. I won't have him anywhere near you," I said quickly. Bella looked at me, her eyes wide open and shocked.

"It's okay, baby. If you don't want me to meet him, believe me I am all for that. I understand," she said, cupping my cheek with her hand and kissing me gently on the lips. I sighed in relief and felt my body relax immensely.

"Alright, let's hop to it," she said, finally getting up out of bed. "We both have busy days and we really need to get a move on if we don't want to be late."

"Well, so that we both won't be late, I suggest showering together," I said as I grabbed her, throwing her over my shoulder and sprinting to the bathroom.

**/CSA\\CSA/CSA\\**

I parked my bike in front of the garage and made my way to the front door steps. Although I had been meeting with Esme for quite a while now, I still felt as though I was an outsider here. I hoped that today would change that though.

I looked down at my watch and started the three hour countdown until Bella's shift would end at the diner. I could handle three hours alone with my mother and her husband, right?

Before I could knock on the door, Esme was swinging it wide open and pulling me inside. It still sometimes shocked me that she had welcomed me back into her life so fully even though I had fucked up so much in the beginning.

"Edward, so glad you could come," she said, taking my coat and hanging it on the rack by the door. Carlisle came from around the corner and smiled widely, reaching out to shake my hand.

"Edward, how are you doing today?" he asked as we walked into the living room. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. I had no idea why I was so nervous. I had talked with him at the party and everything went fine, so this little get together should go as planned.

"Doing pretty good, I guess. I can't lie though, I'm a little nervous," I said, laughing a bit. Esme and Carlisle both laughed a bit and shook their heads.

"No need to be nervous, son," Carlisle said, as he leaned over and patted my knee. Esme inhaled sharply and Carlisle looked up and locked eyes with me. We both looked shocked at his slip. The room had suddenly become ten times more awkward than before and I suddenly felt the need for some type of escape.

"I'm just gonna go use the restroom," I said, standing and motioning toward the stairs.

"Okay, third door on the left," Esme said as she followed behind me, making her way toward the kitchen once I hit the stairs. I glanced at some of the childhood pictures of Bella that hung on the wall as I walked up the staircase. Some had her in pigtails, some had her in glasses and I couldn't help myself from wanting to know the story behind each one. I knew that if I wanted that to happen, I needed to calm the fuck down and go downstairs and make nice.

Once I was done in the bathroom, I turned to go back downstairs, but noticed another door was open. I walked slowly to the room and stuck my head in a little bit and saw that it was some type of study. Nosey fucker that I am, I pushed the door open and walked inside. Thankfully there was already a small table lamp on so I didn't have any trouble looking around. I ran my hand along the spine of the books that were shelved, noticing that most of them were medical journals and stuff like that.

"None of those books will probably interest you. Just a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo," Carlisle said, scaring the shit out of me. I turned around and noticed him sitting in the large leather chair behind the desk.

"Fucking hell," I muttered as I rubbed my hand along my chest trying to jump start my heart. "Sorry for intruding. I just saw the door was open."

"No problem, Edward. You're welcome to go anywhere in this house you want. It's your mother's house. Like I said though, I doubt you will find any of these books in here to interest you."

"Actually, you might be surprised to find out that they interest me a lot," I told him as I read some of the titles on the spines.

"Really? Do a lot of medical journal reading in your spare time?" he asked. I laughed a bit and shook my head.

"No, not really. It's just that I've always wanted to be a doctor." I turned and looked at Carlisle and he had his eyebrows raised as if wanting me to continue with what I was saying, so I did.

"I don't know how much Esme told you about my childhood, but Ed used to beat me pretty damn bad. Sometimes, if he was really fucking pissed, he would screw up and break a bone or something. I was always too freaked out to go the cops about it so the only place I could go was to this local free clinic. Every time, I would sit in the small waiting room and watch these doctors take care of all these people. There were old people, teenagers, babies, black people, white people. These doctors wouldn't turn anyone away. They helped anyone who stepped through the doors. I always imagined myself growing up, becoming a doctor and opening up some type of clinic like that. I can't help but wonder if I had been raised by Esme if I would have had the chance to become a doctor. But then I wonder if I would have the desire to be one if I hadn't seen the doctors in that clinic."

I shrugged my shoulders and sat down on the leather couch in front of the desk. I can't believe I just shared all that with him. I hadn't even shared that part of myself with Bella. I looked at Carlisle and he was smiling slightly.

"You never know, Edward. You just never know," he said and I nodded my head in agreement.

Carlisle and I both continued to talk about a variety of topics and I realized that we had quite a bit in common, which was shocking to say the least. After a while, I looked down at my watch and noticed that more time had passed by than I realized and it would soon be time for Bella to get off.

"Come on down and get ready for dinner. Bella should be home soon," Esme said, sticking her head in the door a little bit. Carlisle and I both stood and followed Esme downstairs.

Once the table was completely set and all the food had been set out, I looked at my phone and saw that Bella was actually running late. Just as I was getting ready to call her, my phone rang in my hand and alerted me that Bella was calling.

"Hey, baby. Are you running a little late? It's fine if you are. Everything's going okay here, just thought I'd let you know," I said laughing a bit.

"Edward," the voice on the other end of the line said. I swallowed harshly and tried not to crush the phone in my hand.

"What the fuck have you done?" I growled into the phone. Carlisle and Esme had both noticed my change in behavior and stopped what they were doing to focus on me.

"Now, now Edward. Is that any way to talk to your father?"


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing. Can't wait to start working with you on my new story ideas soon!**

**So guys, this is the last chapter. An epilogue will follow soon. **

_**"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."**_

_**Earl Wilson**_

"What the fuck have you done?" I growled into the phone. I knew exactly what this man was capable of.

"Now, now Edward. Is that any way to talk to your father?" the son of a bitch asked me. I should have known. Everything was going too perfectly. Evidently, I don't deserve happiness. Karma always had a way of coming back to bite people in the ass and it seemed that my time had finally arrived.

"Where is she? What the fuck did you do to her?" I screamed at the man on the other line. I paced back and forth across the floor of the dining room as Esme and Carlisle both looked on in shock and concern.

"Such a fucking drama queen as usual, son" he said nonchalantly. I growled in anger and pulled the phone from my ear, seconds away from hurling it at the wall. I stopped myself, realizing that this was the only life line I had to Bella now. I had to find out if she was alright. She _had _to be alright.

"Don't fucking call me that. Where is she, you bastard? I swear to God, if you harmed one hair on her head I will kill you with my bare hands. Do you understand me? I will fucking kill you!"

"Relax. She's here with me and she's fine... for the moment. I am going to need to see you though, Edward. We have many, many things to discuss."

"Whatever. Just tell me where you are," I begged him. I ignored his 'for the moment' comment and focused on finding out where he had her.

"We're at the docks. You know where that is don't you, Edward?" Of course he was at the fucking docks. Nothing could be easy for me. I should have known the sadistic bastard would choose the fucking docks.

"Yeah. I'm on my way."

"And Edward," he said, pausing dramatically. I heard Bella scream in the background and I fought down the urge to vomit. "Do hurry."

The line was disconnected and my arm fell to my side, my phone dropping to the floor.

"Edward, what's the matter? Who was on the phone?" Esme asked me as she rushed to my side.

"He's got her. I've gotta go to the docks. It was him," I mumbled out before rushing out the front door and hopping on my bike.

I drove down the streets of Forks like a mad man. I should have known that he would show up and ruin everything. I had told her just this morning that I never wanted her to meet my father. Now he had taken her and I didn't know if I would be able to get her back. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to happier times with Bella. If I didn't, I was going to end up going crazy before I even had a chance to save her.

I saw her smiling shyly at me the first time we met in the diner. I was a complete ass then, but she was perfect.

I heard her laughing with me as we joked around with our friends.

I heard her telling me that she loved me as we relaxed in bed.

I had to get her back. I had to make sure she was safe again. I had to get her away from him. I couldn't live in a world where she didn't exist. I wouldn't.

I pulled into the lot by the docks, not even bothering to park my bike properly. I hopped off of it quickly, letting it fall to the ground before I took off running.

"Bella!" I screamed out repeatedly as I scanned the deserted dock.

"Bella!" I continued further down until I heard shuffling coming from the boathouse at the end of the dock. I ran toward the noise and stopped suddenly when I spotted her.

She stood completely still, her eyes bloodshot, tears continuously falling down her face. There was a piece of tape covering her mouth and her wrists were taped together, as well as her ankles. She stood extremely close to the edge of the dock. Too close to the water. I swallowed harshly and fisted my hands at my side as a memory pushed itself to the forefront of my mind.

_"Hold that breath boy!" he yelled as he held my head under the cold water. He quickly yanked my head up and turned me to face him. _

_"You don't wanna listen to me, then this is what you'll get!" he said, before pushing my head back under the icy water. _

"Come on, baby," I whispered, moving a little closer to her. She began to shake her head back and forth quickly. I could hear her sobbing from behind the tape stuck to her mouth.

"It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay," I said, inching closer to her. Suddenly, he stepped out from behind the boathouse wall, directly in my path to get to Bella.

"You surprise me, boy. The Edward Masen I raised would have laughed in my face and told me to fuck off if I called him and told him to meet me. Especially if it was over some piece of ass," he said, stepping toward me. I took a step backward, not wanting to be further away from Bella, but needing to get further away from him.

"Yeah, well things have fucking changed Ed. You need to let her go. She has nothing to do with this," I said, pointing behind him to Bella. He laughed at me and stepped closer to Bella.

"Oh Edward, she has everything to do with this. When I found out you had come to Forks, I figured you would raise a little hell with your mother and then come back. When you didn't immediately return I decided to follow you down here, maybe raise a little hell of my own. Then I saw you with her. I knew what the fuck had happened."

"But then, you pulled your little stunt at that party and let me just say, Bravo on that boy, fucking bravo on that. I couldn't have done it better myself. I thought for sure after that you were done with the little slut, but no. You had to go all pussy on me and fall for her. Then, I thought I had her with that damn fire, but your stupid ass had to go and save her."

I was completely shocked by everything he was revealing. I had no idea he had been in Forks for this fucking long. He had seen what went on at the party. He had witnessed the aftermath. He had set the fire that almost caused me to lose her.

"It was you the entire fucking time! You were the one following me in that damn car. You were the one calling and hanging up. You started that fucking fire? How the fuck could you do something like that?" I yelled, stepping closer to him.

"Because I needed to save you! I couldn't let you ruin your goddamn life the way she ruined mine!"

"Why the fuck do you care? You haven't once cared about me my entire fucking life! Everything you and your fucking mother ever told me was a goddamn lie! Bella isn't going to ruin my life! She's the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me!" I stepped closer and closer, for once in my life not afraid of him.

"I thought Esme was the best thing that ever happened to me too, but it turned out she was just a lying, cheating whore. Believe me, she'll turn out the same fucking way."

"You're a real fucking idiot, do you know that? You just believed anything that came out of that woman's mouth. Well guess what! She fucking lied to you! Your own fucking mother told you the biggest lie ever because she didn't want you to be happy! She wanted you with her forever, miserable and alone! If you would have just thought about it for a minute, you would have realized that Esme loved you! She would have moved heaven and Earth for you! That's what you do for someone you love. I won't let you ruin this for me."

"Well, I won't let you ruin your life for some stupid fucking whore who wants nothing more than to cash in!" he yelled, turning around quickly and shoving Bella. Her eyes widened as she began to fall. I tried to reach out for her, but he was standing in my way. I stood motionless as I watched her falling, her head hitting the side of the wooden dock before her body hit the cold water.

"You fucking asshole!" I screamed, lunging to get past him. I knew I needed to get to Bella. She hit her head fucking hard and her arms and legs were tied together. There was no way she was going to be able to get out of that water on her own.

He grabbed me by my throat and threw me down to the dock. Straddling my body, he wrapped both hands around my throat, choking me. I tried to pry his hands off me with my own, but it was useless.

"You stupid, ungrateful son of a bitch. I gave you life. I fed you, I clothed you, I gave you a fucking home and this is how you repay me? I should have killed you when I had the chance," he said, continuing to put pressure on my throat.

I reached my arms out blindly around me, trying to find something to hit him over the head with, but I couldn't find anything. I started to get dizzy and spots were beginning to form in front of my eyes. I knew I needed to fight to save Bella, but I couldn't figure a way out of this.

I had never given much thought as to how I would die. I have to say though, I never would have imagined it quite like this.

I suddenly heard footsteps running down the dock and Ed's hands loosened a bit around my neck. I looked above me and saw Esme standing there, wielding a wooden two by four like a fucking baseball bat.

"Get your fucking hands off my son!" she yelled and swung at his head like she was aiming for a homer. His body fell off mine and I crawled over to the edge of the dock where Bella had fallen in.

I slowly stood up at the end of the dock and looked down at the murky water below me. They say to get over your fears, you have to jump in head first. And that's exactly what I did.


	22. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Thanks to Juliegirl18 for stepping in mid-story and taking over as beta. You are awesome and I am so glad you have agreed, for some crazy reason, to continue to beta for me. LOL**

**So... this is it guys. Important A/N at the end... please read it!**

_**"The grand essentials of happiness are: **_

_**something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."**_

_**Allan K. Challmers**_

I saw Bella floating in the water, eyes closed, not moving. She looked so peaceful, so carefree. No worries making her forehead crinkle up the way it did when she was thinking too hard. Moving closer to the edge, I let my toes hang off the end. Then, I closed my eyes and dove in.

"Edward! You asshole!" Bella screamed as I resurfaced to the top of the pool. I laughed loudly and swam over to where she had been floating.

"I'm sorry, baby," I told her as she wrapped her legs around my waist. "You just looked too peaceful. Couldn't have you falling asleep on me."

It had been a year since all the shit went down at the docks. After Esme had knocked the fuck out of Ed, I stumbled over to where Bella had fallen in the water. I could lie and say that I jumped in that water like some fucking knight in shining armor, but that definitely didn't happen. Yeah, I jumped in the water, but I panicked when I realized exactly where I was. I heard Carlisle and Esme screaming from the dock asking where Bella was. I was then able to calm myself down enough to find Bella and pull her from the water.

When I laid her down on the dock, her lips were blue and she wasn't breathing. Carlisle started chest compressions and yelled at me to start rescue breaths. As we performed CPR on her, I sent a prayer up to a God I wasn't sure I believed in, begging him not to take her.

After what seemed like hours but was probably more like seconds, Bella coughed up a lot of water. Carlisle rolled her over to her side and gently patted her back while I leaned down and kissed her repeatedly, all over her face and chanted 'thank you' to whoever would listen.

When Bella woke up later in the hospital and she found out I was the one who had jumped in the water to save her, she told me how proud she was of me. I laughed at her and said that if I was a normal boyfriend she wouldn't need to tell me she was proud of me and that it would have been expected.

After several long, exhausting months of therapy I was finally able to go near water again. My first venture into any kind of water besides a shower was during a weekend trip with Bella. We checked into a bed and breakfast outside of Port Angeles just to get away for a while. I walked into the bathroom to find that Bella had spread tiny candles all around the room and filled the large clawfoot tub with water and bubbles. I hadn't taken a bath since I was five years old. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a big fan of baths now, at least with the company of Bella.

Which led to how I was able to jump in the pool here at the Cullen's house without a major freak out. It had taken me a few months, but I was finally able to enjoy a relaxing swim with my girl.

"Dinner's ready if you guys wanna hop out," Esme said as she stuck her head through the door leading to the pool. Bella and I got out of the pool, dried off and joined Esme and Carlisle on the back deck.

Even though Bella and I live together now in our own apartment, we still spend the majority of our time here at my mom's. We usually eat at least five meals a week here and if we're too tired by the time night falls, we just crash in what used to be Bella's room.

"Let me get that, Mom," I told Esme as I reached to get the plates she had collected once we all finished eating. I had been calling her Mom for a few months now, but each and every time you could see her face light up.

Once all the food was put away and the table was cleared, we all settled back down on the back deck with beers.

"So Edward, I have sort of a proposition for you," Carlisle said as he sat his empty beer bottle down on the railing. I followed suit, sitting mine down and leaned forward resting my elbows on my knees.

"Now, I know I'm not your father," he began before I interrupted him.

"You might not be my father by blood, but you are the closest fucking thing I have ever had to one," I said looking him dead in the eye. He knew I was being completely honest with him because this wasn't the first time I had told him this. The first time was after Ed Masen was sentenced to ten years in prison for the shit he'd pulled kidnapping Bella. I might not call him Dad, but he knows how I feel.

"Okay, okay. Anyway, if I may continue? I was just thinking about your last name... Masen. I know you said after Ed was sentenced that you wanted to cut all ties with him. I just can't help but think that will be extremely hard, seeing as you share a last name. Now, I know you are in your twenties and far past the age of adoption, but I thought that maybe, as a sort of welcome to the family, you could take the Cullen name... officially."

I looked between both Esme and Carlisle, shock clearly written on my face. I had been thinking myself of asking for the exact same thing, but had no idea how to bring it up.

"Actually, I had been thinking the same thing but didn't want to seem to presumptuous. I was just thinking that when Bella and I get married, it would be awesome if we both could have the Cullen name." When the word marriage came out of my mouth I heard Bella gasp beside me and my mother's face lit up; her smile was so wide that I was afraid her face would crack.

"Hold on, hold on now," I said, standing up and holding my hands in the air. "Now don't go getting any ideas. Bella and I are far from getting married and shit. Hell, we just moved in together. Now, I'm not saying it won't happen, but give us some time. I was just thinking of how great it would be that we would share a name with you guys and our kids would and all that, ya know." I thought Mom's face lit up with the word marriage, but she could have lit a fucking room with the smile that graced her face at the mention of grandchildren.

"Fuck," I muttered, rubbing my face. Carlisle laughed and stood beside me, clapping me on the back.

"It's okay, son. We understand what you're saying," Carlisle said, looking at Esme as she nodded and smiled at me. After a little more talking, Esme and Carlisle excused themselves to go to bed. Bella and I stayed out back, enjoying the quiet of the summer night. We sat together on the small couch, Bella tucked into my side.

"So, you wanna marry me one day?" she asked me as she turned her head up to look at me.

"Of course I will... one day. You know I can't stay away from you," I told her honestly as I bent down to kiss her.

God knows, I fucked up countless times with Bella, but for some unexplainable reason she still wanted to be with me. One day down the road, maybe six months from now, maybe a year, I would ask Bella to marry me. She would hopefully say yes and we would have the wedding she had always dreamed of. We'd have a house with the fucking white picket fence, a couple of kids, and maybe even a dog. I would probably spend the rest of my life striving to be the man I thought she deserved, but there was nowhere else I'd rather be.

**THE END**

**A/N: So, this is the end of the main story. Make sure you have the companion story on alert because I do have an alternate POV planned and one, possibly two, future takes planned. **

**Thank you so much for sticking with me on this crazy ride. You've all been wonderful! Make sure you have me on alert because I have several plot bunnies running rampant in my head right now that are dying to break out, LOL.**


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